As a postscript to my two posts about getting jiggy with book reviewers, which can be found HERE and HERE.  These are a few extra little tips that you should really pay attention to if you want your book to reach the maximum audience. 


1. Don't be an arsehole, the internet is full of the graves of authors who have shot themselves in the foot with public meltdowns.  Not everyone will like your book. Look at Stephen King considered to be the gold standard of horror writers.  Look at any one of his books on Amazon, look at the breakdown of the reviews, all of his books are littered with ratings of 1 - 3 stars.  If he can't get all four or five star reviews  the  chances are you won't either.    Even if your book has more 1 star reviews than 4 or 5 then take it on the chin don't engage the reviewer.  You'll come off worse.  The reviewer has nothing to lose, you do. 

2.  Don't ever get your family or friends to post favourable reviews of your books.  People aren't stupid.  When I get a request to review a book from an author that I am unfamiliar with I check the Amazon reviews, especially the 5 star ones.  If I see that the only reviews written for  your book are the  only ones written by them, then I will pass on your book.  It's counter productive. 

3.  All these facebook groups that like to trade likes on Amazon are also counter productive, it's a pyramid scheme, only those at the top ever get any boosts to their Amazon rank. 

4.  Now look at your cover, are you really, really happy with it?  Even in this digital age a cover sells a book.  Now I can you saying that a good cover costs money.  No it doesn't.  In this era of the internet, there are millions of free stock photographs out there.  All it takes is a little practice on something like Photo Elements and you can make a brilliant cover.  It doesn't have to be a complicated cover, in fact some of the best covers are very understated.  Look at this cover.  

It's a simple cover, but an extremely effective cover.  You know exactly what you are going to get.  The Title is simple and prominent  and the authors are visible.  Now look at this cover  

I don't know about you but I can't make out what the book is called, and if I have to put my glasses on just to read the author's name, I'm going to skip right over it when scanning round Amazon.   Plus the cover tells me nothing.   As for this one 

Why waste time and money on getting an image for your cover, just to plaster the books title slap bang in the middle of the image.  

What these images suggest to both casual readers and reviewers is if you can't be bothered to take the time to get a decent cover, you probably don't care that much about the contents of the book.  

5. Now I know you spent time writing your book, and you think it is brilliant.  Full of clever word use, dramatic sentences  and amazing imagery.  Chances are though that's not the case.  You need AN EDITOR, and by editor I don't mean your mom, or a friend who has written a couple of letters to their local newspaper.  I mean a proper fully qualified editor with a proven track record.  "OH but that costs money!" Trust me if your book is good the cost of an editor is worth it.    

6.  We've looked at your cover and the contents of the book, lets now look at website.  Remember in my first post where I talked about stupid colours and stupid fonts.  The same rule applies here.   Keep it simple and keep it clean.  Have your information ordered in a clean logical fashion.  Remember you are a professional now.  take your inner child and his pot of art supplies and lock him in the basement.

7.  From a reviewer's perspective one that that really annoys and irritates is trying to find contact details for you.  How are we supposed to contact you if we can't find your email address.  Oh but what about all the spam?  Simple get yourself an email address that is just for your writing.  If you are really bothered about spambots do something like this  

8.  And this is my last point here for gods sake put up an author's biography.  And please keep it professional, Try and use "Joe Smith started writing at" rather than "I started writing at".  And please avoid putting jokes like   "in my spare time I Like to wrestle wallabies"  However please put in as much real detail as you can.  Be interesting without being flip. 

There are millions of guides about writing, publicising and promoting your magnum opus horror novel masterpiece.  Most of these guides are written by other authors, some are written by authors who have paid their dues, and have numerous publishing credits to their name.  Others are written by "authors" who claim to be bestselling authors, whose lack of basic language skills, results in them not knowing the difference between "bestselling" and "loads of free downloads” of my Ebook on Amazon.  These are my favourite guides, how can an author who hasn't actually sold a book write a guide on selling your book.  And by sold I mean have someone part with their hard earned cash for your book.  

However both of these groups of author guides seem to lack one important factor, a factor that I like to call Reviewer Etiquette.  Reviewers are an odd bunch, we tend to get looked upon as a necessary evil, loved by authors when we give their book a good review, and despised like mass murdering pervert when we give a book a negative review.    Which is fine my me, you as a writer are entitled to get upset at a bad review.  Hell I get upset when the wife criticising my attempt at housework.  I spent the best part of a day doing it, how dare she, and like a lot of the books I receive it does seem as though the author spent the same amount of time writing their book as I did doing the laundry.  But this isn't about author meltdown, that’s for another day.  This post is about getting your book in the reviewer's review pile, and what you as a writer should do in the run up to the review being published. 

First up, the majority of reviewers don't get paid; we do this out of a love of the genre.  If you are lucky enough to work for a publication that can afford to pay you as a staff writer, then good for you, I hate your guts, but good for you.  Yes there are "reviewers" that will take payment for writing a "review", those are not reviewers, they are scum, and they do more damage than good.  The rest of us reviewers do this for fun, we all have a life, and we have work, family commitments and other stuff to do. 

 Now some authors I have dealt with seem to think that giving a reviewer a free copy of their 99p eBook is payment with an unmentioned contract to review that book.  I'm sorry to say that this isn't the case.  I look at this way of thinking if this was my job, and my pay was the minimum wage of £6.31, then your 99p ebook is only worth around ten minutes of my time.  When you look at it this way, this doesn't give you the author any right to get all uppity when decide not to review your book. 

I'm getting ahead of myself.  To put things into perspective when I was on holiday the other week, I came home to around 300 emails all demanding my attention, yes some were for hair replacement therapy, and investment opportunities in Zimbabwe, this still left hundreds of emails all wanting either an interview, a review, or news item or even  all three on my blog.  I'm sorry to say this is a depressing sight to behold.  So how did I tackle it, firstly I scanned the emails for authors whose work I am familiar with, these went straight into my holding folder.  Or the deleted bin, depending on my past interactions with the author concerned.  I then checked for anything in the subject line that sounded like a red flag.  The sort of thing I was looking for were phrases such as 


ZOMBIE, ROMANCE, SEX, and my personal most hated phrase "THE NEXT BIG THING IN HORROR FICTION"

These emails were all deleted without a second thought.  The next filter was another simple one, any email that used colourful or stupid childish unprofessional fonts, was again deleted without reading.  Annoying as hell isn't it.  

This still left rather a lot of emails, that required my proper attention, and this is where it gets interesting.  The emails deleted previously were all down to schoolboy errors, you could have got past these stages if you just read my review criteria, or taking your inner child and told them to fucking stop using fonts and colours that are just plain stupid.   This is where we get to the real crux of this post, Etiquette and politeness, two words that so many authors are not aware off. 

When you send an email to a reviewer, I know you think sending a mass email will save you time, you know the sort headed with phrases such as "Dear Sir / Madam".  We reviewers are people too, we like to feel special.  So yes, use copy and paste for the main body of your email, but go on at least try and find out what my name is.  

Please don't say you love my site, and think your book would be a good fit, when  your book clearly isn't a good fit.  That just makes me think that you have just sent the same email to every review site going.  Again I want to feel special.  

Don't ever, and I mean EVER send out a review request, and then expect the book reviewer to actually have to pay money to buy the book.  That's just cheap.  I don't like cheap.  I got an email like this where the author wanted £9.99 for their ebook.  To use a famous Scottish saying Aye right!

Actually ask for a review, interview, or a news article.  Don't just send an email with the book's synopsis, and a link to download it or the book as an attachment.  Tat just makes me think you are lazy, and if you are too lazy to write a simple email, I tend to think that your writing will also be lazy. 

Sell me the book, your email is probably the only way I will hear about your book.  If your synopsis of the book is dull, and your email itself is poorly worded, then I won't want to read your book.  However don't go too far, selling yourself as the greatest new writer I have never heard of just smacks of arrogance, and will get your email, can you guess?  That's right Deleted.  

Congratulations, you have managed to get your book into my review pile.  But don't get cocky kid! This still doesn't guarantee a review.  It is clearly stated in my review policy that I won't guarantee that I will actually review your book   even if I accept it.  This may sound unfair, and I'll be honest I review 99% of all physical books that get sent my way.  I used to feel obligated to review everything; it has only been in last few months that I realised that I don't owe anyone anything for a 99p ebook.  

Like most review sites Ginger Nuts of Horror is run by one person and as I have said before I have a life outside of this site.  So if I take a bit of time in posting your review, please, please don't send me a nasty email saying "WHY ISN'T MY REVIEW UP".    That will just get my back up, and yes, you guessed it the review deleted.  

I can't promise that if you follow these points your book will get picked up by every review site going.  I do think, though, that your chances will be increased.  

Just remember we reviewers don't need your book, most of us have a book buying addiction and have more books to read than we have time left on this plane of existence.  So please treat us nice, make us feel special, and we might just let you get to second base, hell you may even get a home run. 


Click Below for Part Two 

You've Got To Second Base, Now What?  

   

This is a first for Ginger Nuts of Horror, a review of a film.  I'm not a fan of horror films, don't ask me why, I couldn't give you a logical reason for not liking them.  As to why I agreed to review this film again I can't give you a solid reason.  

The Casebook Of Eddie Brewer  is a filmed in the style of a documentary, which allows it share many of its stylistic techniques with those of the much maligned "Found Footage" genre.  The film itself concerns agnostic paranormal investigator Eddie Brewer.  if you are wondering what an agnostic paranormal investigator is, don't worry Eddie explains it all in a brilliant scene where he is interviewed alongside a sceptic on a local radio show.  This scene also shows exactly how this film excels at being a fantastic example of supernatural cinema.  

This is a low budget film, there is very little money for special effects, and the film makers are well aware of this, so what they have done is concentrate on things such as great dialogue, excellent natural and engaging performances, and a brilliant use  sound to intensify the ever increasing sense of dread.  At one  point in the film Eddie says 


"sometimes miss something sensational on the audio for concentrating too much on the visual" 

And you know what he is right,  this is one of those films where if you listen to it through a pair of headphones the chill factor and overall enjoyment of the film is greatly increased.    As mentioned earlier the acting in the film is both natural and engaging, in particular Ian Brooker's portrayal of Eddie is a masterclass in pathos.  His performance quickly draws you into Eddie's life, this is a downbeat man, full of sorrow and yet gifted with a wry sense of humour.  It was a brave move by the filmmakers to cast Eddie in this way, it would have been so easy to have him as a young handsome leading man.  However, the casting of Ian brings a great sense of reality to this film.  

The film itself is slow burner, that layers on a sense of dread and foreboding masterfully.  This is    a first class example of what British supernatural film making does best.  An intelligent, spooky and ultimately rewarding ghost story. 

Just keep watching the end credits, there is a brilliant little epilogue there.  

Highly recommended 

PURCHASE A COPY HERE 

Today is a special day.  Why's that you ask?  I'll tell you why, the Fabulous Jasper Bark has kindly written a review of the British Fantasy Society's members exclusive anthology The Burning Circus.  This anthology is only available to members of the Society, if you are wondering why it's being reviewed, it is to show you the readers one of the benefits of joining this long standing genre community.  

So click on read more for Jasper's splendid review.  

NOTE : This is an updated review of the original book to take into account the audiobook version.  Amazon and Audible don't distinguish between the different book formats)

I'm going to get right to the point you need to go and buy this novel. Normally when I read the debut novel from an author, I lower my expectations a little. It takes time for an author to hone their craft and find ther own voice and style. This is a brilliant book, I decided to cast aside all first novel expectations after 30 minutes of reading this book. Graeme has produce what can only be described as howling success of a novel (see what I did there folks)

I'll be honest I can count the number of werewolf books I have read on one hand, so I have very few points of reference to judge this book against. What I will say is that out of those books this ranks up there with the best of them. This is an utterly thrilling read, that will have you turning the pages at breakneck speed. The book is littered with great characters, both loveable and despicable. Characters that you will grow to care about, to such extent that the midway climatic scenes ring with emotional intensity.

As for the werewolves Reynolds has created a great and believable mythos. The pack has a strong identity, these are not just the monster of the week type werewolf, their actions and rules are an important factor in what makes this a great book. These are proud, but vicious animals, don't go into this book looking for cuddly furballs, you will be disappointed, these werewolves have big sharp teeth and claws, and they are not afraid to use them

The majority of the story takes place in 1986. I was 15 in 1986, having a ball of time. Reading this book is like looking back at old film footage of my life. Reynolds has expertly captured the feel of what it was like to grow up in a small town in 1986.

But fear not folks this is in no way a rip off Stephen King's It. High Moor is it's own novel, it will strike one hell of a chord with those of a certain age, who grew up in the UK. But it will also appeal to a much wider audience such is the strength of Reynolds writing. The last time I connected so strongly with the setting of a novel was with Joe Donnelly's Twitchy Eyes, and in many ways this book share similar themes, and is of a similar quality.

It takes a writer of tremendous skill to imbue a an action packed novel with as much depth, as is displayed here. This book was a joy to read, not just for its ability to transport me back to a time gone by, but also because it is so well written. If this is the level of writing Graeme is capable of producing in a début novel, then I for one cannot wait for his next novel.

Right so we all know that I am a huge fan of this book and its sequel, so how did I feel about the audiobook treatment of this splendid novel?

Audiobooks, are a funny thing, unlike normal books they can live or die nit just by the quality of the writing, but also by the quality of the production of the book.  Many a great story has been rendered unlistenable by poor production values, and terrible narration.  If you don't believe me just search for M.R. James audiobooks, don't say i didn't warn you though.

The author of High Moor handed over the mammoth task of bringing this book to  audio  glory to fellow Scot,Chris Barnes of Dynamic Ram Audio Productions.  A task that Chris has risen to with fantastic results.  Chris's narration and use of incidental music breath new life into this already brilliant book.  We all read books with our own voice, and while unlike myself, your voice probably doesn't have a lyrical Scottish brogue to it, upon hearing Chris's voice for the first time you will be drawn into the story immediately.  

Chris's reading of the book  is full of excellent vocal performances as he gives each character their own voice.  His narration is polished, confident and above all very engaging, this isn't just a plain a reading of the book, this is perfomance in its own right.  The book lasts for about seven hours and at no time throughout listening to it did I find myself drifting from the narrative.  

Even if you already own a copy of this book, I would still recommend purchasing a copy of the audio version, as it really does add to the overall enjoyment factor of the book.