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OH NO I’M STUCK IN A HORROR This is a new, hopefully fun short interview template, where you imagine you are trapped in a series of horror books and films, it’s meant to be a lighthearted way to talk about the thing you want to promote without directly talking about it. As with all of the other templates, please include a biography, the product you want to promote, any social media links or links to purchase your stuff at the end of the article and please attach a profile picture that we can use in the article. You wake up and find yourself in a horror franchise, what franchise would you prefer to wake up in and why? It would have to be the Hellraiser franchise. I’d show them how deviant a mortal can be. By the end of it, I’d have been promoted to a Cenobite. You find yourself as the “Final One” which monster / villain would you most like to go up against and why do you think you would survive? Anyone (anything?) that is a ghost, like the ones from Poltergeist or from the Overlook Hotel. I ain’t afraid of no ghost. No, seriously. The existence of ghosts means there is an afterlife. And if there’s an afterlife, then perhaps death isn’t so bad. And which creature would you least like to go up against? Freddie. Not that I’m his type anyway (too old), but there was nothing I feared more growing up than the clawed one. I already have trouble sleeping, let alone if I’m afraid of falling asleep. You find yourself in Scooby Doo, which character are you, and who would most like to have as the other members of Mystery Inc? I’d be Velma as I’m very skeptical about the existence of the supernatural in our world like she is. I’d want someone for traps so maybe Data from the Goonies. Buffy Summers for fighting, although there isn’t much need for it in the Scooby Doo world. She’s pretty funny and that always helps. Finally, Columbo for solving the mystery and also being a father figure (debatable!) for the rest of us. Pinhead pops round for an evening of fun, what are your pains and pleasures? He can do whatever he wants, after all it’s only fun if I’m giving away my agency. Only requirement is that I get my skin and flesh back afterwards for the second date. Don’t want to end up smeared like butter in an abandoned loft. The Wishmaster gives you three wishes 1. You can wish to write in any franchise 2. You can wipe one franchise from the minds of everyone 3. You can date your horror crush What do you choose? First of all, it’s dangerous to ask something from the Wishmaster. I’m not that naive! But assuming he’s in a good mood… 1. Not horror, but I really, really want to write a TV adaptation of Marshal Law, the graphic novel by Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neill. Lots to explore thematically, and since The Boys were a success, then Marshal Law could be, too. If we’re talking horror, then Hellraiser. That franchise has been abused for decades due to copyright issues. 2. I don’t like to be too harsh on the work of fellow writers and creators, but it would have to be Paranormal Activity. Not because of the PA franchise itself, but because of the dozens of atrocious copycats it has spawned. 3. Coré (Béatrice Dalle) from Trouble Every Day, although that would be the last date of my life. If it’s a date I want to survive, then Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini) from Blue Velvet, which is a horror film in my opinion. The Night Guard (Human Dregs Book 1) |
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May 2023
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