Seven years ago a book hit the shelves that if you you believed it would turn anyone into a horror writer, it consisted of nothing but terrible cliched phrases, there was no writing tips, to guides to style, grammar, or even the most basic of writing tips.  

So I took the challenge to write a short story based on the book, I thought I had lost it forever, but thanks to Facebook memories I appeared on my Facebook timeline today, so folks here it is the one and only time I will ever write a piece of fiction, well apart from the note I leave my partner telling her what housework I did today.  

"The axe's silver head sang, severing life from limb. Which was rather annoying as it was a shit song. Why I was driving with a singing axe in the seat next to me I could not tell. It was at that point that the old lady flew over my windscreen like a sack of broken bones. Christ I thought that witch should really see a Dr she looks like death warmed up.

Then I realised that I should never have taken my eyes of the road, as it was at that point I hit him, and the wheels of mechanized death paved over his life, leaving tire tracks of hot death on his soul. It was at this point the axe decided to pipe up again......

"See I told you you were a shit driver”. Sick and tired of his cheek I threw the shiny little bastard out of the window with all the force this tired man could muster. Damn it I should have remembered that you shouldn't throw things out of the drivers side window. The axe hit the driver of the car coming towards me, crashing through the windscreen like a silver meteorite of death, to penetrate her deeper than any lover had.

Blood sprayed into the interior of her car like a fountain of blood. Death was instantaneous, well for her any ways.

The car jack knifed and careened into the gas station which erupted in white phosphorus explosions torching flesh into bone. My eyes bulged in fright at the thing. It was more than fright, it was a freezing of my soul.

It was at this point when a crazed form crept out at the shadows and stared at the now smouldering wreck, and the deader than dead corpse in the car. The lobster bibbed lunatic came at the girl with a knife and fork. The slobbering psycho sliced at away at her pregnant belly to get at the tender child meat inside of her. He then moved on to the less prized meat, her stolen eyes were quickly taken bursting like black grapes in the cannibals mouth.

I had to do something, I had to fight against the cold worm of fear that gnawed at my spine. My heart hammered in my chest like a cold steel hammer. Threatening to burst forth like that alien in that film that was written far better than this pile of piss. Oh how I wished I was a better narrator.

Shame and desire mingled hot in my throat. It was at this point I picked up a rock and crept towards the cannibal who was too busy to notice both my approach and hot hell of rage that burned behind my eyes.

As I crept closer the brambles pricked me, hungry for blood, as the trees coked the sun from the sky, plunging me into a primal darkness. It probably wasn’t a good idea to build a gas station right in the middle of a spooky forest, but hey what town planners are like. Why this thought came to me as I drew close the slobbering beast before me, just goes to show that I know nothing about building tension.

As I drew closer I could see that the lobotomy scar wasn’t the only sign of his madness. A shrill laugh burbled over his lips as he cracked open her skull eager to get to the sweat grey meat of her feeble woman’s mind. With his scarred misshapen faced buried in the ragged remains of her cranium, I decided to make my move. The rock rammed into the man’s skull with a meaty splat. I brought the rock down again pulping flesh, bones and teeth into one bloody mass. Like a hungry black snake the road rose up to meet his bloody corpse.

Once I was sure he was dead and no longer a threat I looked over at the remains of the woman driver. She radiated a sinister magnetism that drew me like flies to dustbin. The irony of which wasn’t lost on me as her ravaged head was already home to a buzzing mass of big fat bloated bluebottles. Blood started to throb in my veins like a scarlet web of desire. My pulse quickened with forbidden longing, I was powerless to stop myself from undressing. The steam from her splattered blood lent the scene an almost soft focus soft porn feel. I could almost hear the heavy bass line of a 1000 pornos playing in my mind. What we shared wasn’t love it was madness.

The wood was deadly silent, as though every animal that inhabited was hanging their head in shame at what they had just witnessed. I wasn’t proud of what I had just done, I never knew I was capable of such things. I couldn’t decide who as more vile me the corpse shagger or the cannibal that decided to eat her. It was then I heard a feral cry, the sort of cry that no animal should be able to make. I scrambled to pull up my trousers, embarrassed and scared, like a teenage boy getting caught pissing in the sink by his mother. The scream was followed by a crash of timber. I wonder if it would have made a sound if I wasn’t there to hear it."

Throughout cinema history, planes have frequently played a prominent role as the backdrop for action-packed movies, adeptly capturing feelings of tension, danger, and claustrophobia that arise when characters are confined to a limited space and face a variety of threats. The setting of an aeroplane frequently highlights the action through claustrophobic stories of survival, heroism, and resilience in the face of extreme adversity, offering audiences an exciting and thrilling cinematic experience.


The action-packed Plane features pilot Brodie Torrance (Gerard Butler) who expertly lands his aircraft on a war-torn island to save his passengers from a lightning strike. However, their troubles are far from over when the passengers are taken captive by dangerous rebels. With limited options, Torrance must rely on Louis Gaspare (Mike Colter), a convicted murderer being transported by the FBI, to aid in the rescue mission. As they work together, they uncover unexpected truths about Gaspare, and ultimately it is up to both men to save the lives of everyone on board. With Gerard Butler at his hard-hitting everyman best, and Mike Colter bringing the muscle as his bruising back-up, Plane is one flight not to be missed!


To mark the release of Plane on UK digital platforms now, we present a list of five adrenaline-fuelled action movies that take to the skies.


TOP GUN (1986)
Now regarded as a pop culture phenomenon and one of the most successful and beloved films of the 1980s, Tony Scott's Top Gun is a high-octane thrill ride that depicts the might of the US military complex against an unspecified enemy, embodying the heady excesses of the era. The film catapulted Tom Cruise to international stardom as daredevil US Navy pilot Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, who undergoes an intensive training course under the watchful eye of flight instructor Charlotte Blackwood (Kelly McGillis) alongside a cohort of memorable peers to take to the skies and defeat a common enemy all the while navigating themes of love, friendship, and coming-of-age in the face of adversity. The legendary soundtrack, featuring hits like Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone and Berlin's Take My Breath Away, adds to the film's enduring legacy, as do the awe-inspiring aerial displays that continue to captivate audiences to this day. Top Gun was a juggernaut at the US box office and its significance reverberated through the cultural landscape; as director Tony Scott noted, ‘its influence can be seen in everything from fashion to music to politics”. The movie even had a profound impact on a new generation of navy pilots, who were encouraged to follow in the footsteps of Maverick and pursue their dreams of flying!


DIE HARD 2 (1990)
Taking place on Christmas Eve precisely two years after the thrilling events of Die Hard, Renny Harlin’s 1990 sequel sees Bruce Willis reprise his iconic role as L.A.P.D police officer (now lieutenant) John McClane who once again finds himself inadvertently embroiled in a gripping high stakes siege. Harlin’s film replicates the singular location of its predecessor, transplanting the action from a towering skyscraper to Washington Dulles Airport where McClane races against time to stop a group of merciless terrorists hell-bent on freeing General Ramon Esperanza (Franco Nero), a despotic drug lord in the process of being extradited to the United States. Fighting against ruthless foes and distrusting airport police and military personnel, McClane uses his signature ingenuity and quick wit to prevent imminent catastrophe as the fate of thousands of aeroplane passengers, including his wife, hangs in the balance. While much of Die Hard 2’s action occurs within Washington Dulles Airport, as the film reaches its electrifying crescendo, McClane emerges onto a snowy runway, battling Colonel Stuart (William Sadler) in a gratifyingly memorable fight sequence on the wings of Esperanza’s escaping plane. Surpassing the monumental success of Die Hard was no mean feat but Harlin’s sequel achieved just that, proving even more popular with cinema-goers, amassing double the earnings of its predecessor and ranking as the 7th highest-grossing picture of 1990. Yippee Fly-yay!


EXECUTIVE DECISION (1996)
The hijacking of a passenger airliner by a group of terrorists with a vendetta against the United States forms the basis for Stuart Baird’s 1996 aviation thriller, Executive Decision. The film concerns expert intelligence consultant Dr. David Grant (Kurt Russell) and his team of specialists faced with the daunting task of infiltrating a hijacked plane and halting a terrorist plot to unleash a deadly nerve gas over Washington D.C. In classic action movie fashion, matters are complicated further when they discover a bomb aboard, heightening the severity of the threat as Russell and his cohorts race against time to defuse the bomb and save the day.  Boasting a star-studded cast including Steven Seagal, John Leguizamo, and Halle Berry, Executive Decision touches on concepts of bravery, selflessness, and the fight against terrorism while adding innovative ideas to the well-traversed hijacked aircraft scenario via the team’s daring infiltration of a passenger plane. Russell’s reluctant hero is easy for audiences to root for and the surprising and untimely death of Seagal’s Lieutenant Colonel Austin Travis brings gravitas to proceedings, considerably raising the film’s already high stakes.


AIR FORCE ONE (1997)
When it comes to on-screen depictions of fictional US presidents, Harrison Ford’s President James Marshall ranks as one of the decided greats; a charismatic born leader and former Vietnam veteran who isn’t afraid to take decisive action when he discovers his flight aboard Air Force One has been hijacked by terrorists on a return trip home from Russia. Orchestrating a fake mid-air escape, Marshall must band together with his loyal crew to quash the terrorist threat while proving his political steel as a strong and capable leader deserving of the presidential office. Featuring an impressive cast that includes Glenn Close, William H. Macy and Gary Oldman as Ford’s adversary, Ivan Korshunov, Air Force One showcases the outstanding skill of Wolfgang Petersen at the peak of his directorial powers who deftly ratchets up the film’s nail-biting tension towards its thrilling climax. The film would prove to be one of the most successful action movies of the 1990s, grossing over 300 million dollars at the US box office, more than tripling its production costs. Ford’s memorably heroic performance — who else could deliver the now legendary “Get off my plane!” line with such earnest conviction — and Petersen’s masterful direction solidifies Air Force One’s status as one of the great action-thrillers of the 1990s.


SNAKES ON A PLANE (2006)
Born from a modest screenplay by university administrator, David Dalessandro, Snakes on a Plane went through several rewrites, revisions, and rejections over the course of a decade before news of its attention-grabbing title attracted interest from an ardent group of eager fans, snowballing into a full-blown internet phenomenon. Starring the inimitable Samuel L. Jackson as FBI agent Neville Flynn, Snakes on a Plane follows Flynn, an agent tasked with escorting and protecting a high-profile witness who must fly from Hawaii to Los Angeles to testify against ruthless mob boss, Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson). As the film’s title more than alludes to, all hell breaks loose when one of Kim’s goons releases a crate of venomous snakes on the outbound flight, wreaking havoc on a multitude of colourful and unsuspecting passengers and crew. As the snakes infiltrate every nook and cranny of the cabin, dispatching its occupants in various gruesome ways, Samuel L. Jackson’s Flynn utters the now infamous line which has gleefully come to define David R. Ellis’ film. A film without pretension, Snakes on a Plane leans into its B-Movie trappings proudly, effortlessly establishing its rightful place in the pantheon of cult cinema while simultaneously kickstarting the craze for a plethora of tongue-in-cheek creature features in the latter half of the 2000s and beyond.


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In the white-knuckle action movie Plane, pilot Brodie Torrance (Gerard Butler) saves his passengers from a lightning strike by making a risky landing on a war-torn island - only to find that surviving the landing was just the beginning.
When most of the passengers are taken hostage by dangerous rebels, the only person Torrance can count on for help is Louis Gaspare (Mike Colter), a convicted murderer who was being transported by the FBI. Discovering there’s more to Gaspare than meets the eye, it will be up to both men to rescue everyone.
Plane is directed by Jean-François Richet (The Emperor of Paris, Mesrine: Killer Instinct); Produced by Alastair Burlingham (Moonfall), Gerard Butler (Olympus Has Fallen), Marc Butan (Triple 9), Michael Cho (WeWork); Starring Gerard Butler (Olympus Has Fallen), Mike Colter (Luke Cage), Yoson An (Mulan), Daniella Pineda (Jurassic World: Dominion), Paul Ben-Victor (The Irishman). 

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For over twenty years, Alexander Zelenyj has been writing unforgettable fiction. His stories span the literary continuum, blending genres in new and unexpected ways to create what many critics have described as “unclassifiable” literature. Never afraid to venture to those places that few other authors would dare to explore, he weaves bold narratives that are by turns harrowing, insightful, and revelatory. They are stories that confront the most abhorrent of monsters, embrace the truth and the wonder of the human condition, and pose questions without answer.
These Long Teeth of the Night celebrates the first two decades of Zelenyj’s published short fiction. This special anniversary retrospective collects twenty-eight of his most remarkable stories, including new material and notes from the author that offer unique insight into the creative process.
Prepare yourself. The stories of Alexander Zelenyj are stories of the night. And it has teeth.

Top Horror Films You Shouldn't Miss Out On In 2023

As we are now in 2023, it’s that time of the year to take a look at the most exciting upcoming horror films that we will get to see this year. New releases are being announced almost every day, which means that 2023 is expected to bring plenty of action in the horror genre. Below you will find a list of the best horror films that you should add to your watch list in 2023. Although this is by no means a definitive list, you may discover some great films that you can watch with your friends on a spooky Friday night.

M3GAN

One of the most-anticipated releases of this year is M3GAN, which is bound to take you on a rollercoaster of emotions. You will join toy company roboticist Gemma (Allison Williams) as she creates an AI-assisted lifelike doll with the name M3GAN. Gemma gains custody of her niece after the girl’s parents die in a car crash. She then decides to let M3GAN spend time with her niece and help her process her grief. However, things don’t go as planned, when M3GAN takes a murderous approach any time someone comes between her and her friend. Time will tell if M3GAN will become the next horror icon that everyone is talking about.

Salem’s Lot

Another great film you may want to check out is Salem’s Lot, based on Stephen King’s novel from 1975. As Salem’s Lot is due to be released later in 2023, there are some fun activities that you can get involved with, that will provide you with a similarly thrilling experience. For example, there are various websites and gaming platforms that you can explore, such as OnlineCasinos.co.uk to find the best casino to play via mobile devices. OnlineCasinos.co.uk is a great platform, which will provide you with amazing mobile casino bonuses, allowing you to have the best online casino experience. You may also be able to find some fun horror-inspired slots that will leave you feeling even more excited.

Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey

Although you may be familiar with Winnie the Pooh, which is a 1926 children’s book, this film may change your perception of this story. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is a new reimagining, which will turn your favourite childhood characters into something you haven’t thought about before. As you will notice in the trailer, Christopher Robin is heading off to college, so he will have to leave his pals behind. Ever since the trailer was released, many fans have been eager to see how the film will unfold.

Knock At The Cabin

Knock at the Cabin is another film based on a popular novel that you might have already read, ‘The Cabin at the End of the World’ by Paul Tremblay. If you are familiar with the novel, you know that you can expect a series of twists and turns. Watching the trailer will leave you feeling like there is more than meets the eye in this spooky story. The plot focuses on a young gay couple and their daughter, who leave for a getaway in the woods. Suddenly, four intruders break into the cabin where they are staying, which leads to more mystery and action you wouldn’t want to miss.

Scream 6

Ghostface is set to visit Manhattan once again following five successful films. After the last round, Samantha, Tara, Mindy, and Chad, who the audience will recognize from Scream 5, decide to move to New York so that they can start a new chapter. However, the plan quickly goes awry when the Big Apple becomes a setting for more murders and an action-packed story, which will leave you on the edge of your seat. It has been confirmed that Sidney (Neve Campbell) will not be returning for Scream 6, but you can expect Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) to make an appearance.

Infinity Pool

Infinity Pool is coming soon, and it’s promising to bring a mix of horror, violence, and hedonism. The story follows a couple on what seems to be an amazing holiday at an all-inclusive island resort. A fatal accident soon reveals the real nature of the resort. This science fiction thriller film was written and directed by Brandon Cronenberg, and starring Alexander Skarsgård and Mia Goth. So, you should get ready for surreal horrors that will make you forget everything else and root for the main characters.

Evil Dead Rise

The latest film in the Evil Dead Rise franchise will take place in a city instead of a cabin in the woods as usual. You will follow two estranged sisters whose reunion has been cut short, as a group of demons arrives. This means that they now must do everything they can to survive in this primal battle. Evil Dead Rise is written and directed by Lee Cronin and is the fifth instalment in the series. It’s scheduled to be released in theatres on April 21, 2023, so you may want to save the date and prepare for this unbelievable fight against demonic creatures.

Renfield

Nicholas Cage has had a significant presence in some of the best Hollywood films out there. If you are a fan, you have likely noticed that he embodies every role he plays. This won’t be any different in his new film ‘Renfield’. It promises to be an extremely violent comedy, focusing on Renfield, who is now ready to seek a life outside the shadows of the Prince of Darkness. Directed by Chris McKay, Renfield will make you forget all about Dracula and find out more about his tortured aide as he figures out how to end his co-dependency. Apart from Nicholas Cage, you will also get to see Nicholas Hoult as the titular character.

Cocaine Bear
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Lastly, you are unlikely to be disappointed by Cocaine Bear, expected to be released in February this year. The premise of this dark comedy is simple, and judging by the trailer, it’s supposed to be a blast for all horror fans across the world. A shipment of cocaine gets airdropped from a plane and is found by a 500-pound bear. After the bear eats a significant amount of it, it ends up going on a drug-fuelled rampage. This wild thriller is expected to be like nothing you have ever seen, so get ready for plenty of action, twists, and turns.

On Cocaine Bear and Other Human-Created Monsters


I wouldn’t call Cocaine Bear divisive, but the 2023 Elizabeth Banks-directed horror film about a bear who ingests cocaine and goes on a killing spree has definitely elicited some strong opinions. 


One camp, which includes me, is excited about the thrill ride of a film in which a motley crew of characters must band together to stop the drug-induced bloodbath. 


Another camp, which does not at all include me, is put off by the vapid premise of killer animals and the Hollywood treatment of something that is typically relegated to low-budget productions. (Think Sharknado.)


But I plan to watch Cocaine Bear and root for the people as well as for the bear. These things are not mutually exclusive.


Nature always wins


When I was a kid, my family had a video rental card, and I wasn’t afraid to use it. 


One of the earliest horror movies I watched was the 1976 film The Food of the Gods. The premise is that a fluid oozes from the ground on a remote island, and, when mixed with food, makes the chickens, wasps, and rats into giants that kill. The film ends with the same fluid making it into the milk supply, which is consumed by the schoolchildren, who are also susceptible to the liquid’s detrimental effects.


The B-movie was probably a decade old or so when I caught it for the first time, and it not only creeped me out, but it also changed the way I looked at the relationship humans have with other animals. It was the first time it hit me that humans are, in fact, animals, but animals who are supposed to be enlightened, with big, intelligent brains that allowed them to climb to the top of the food chain, above all apex predators, where they sit in dominion over all creatures. 


Many people even point to biblical justification for our dominion, in Genesis Chapter 1, Verse 26: 


”And God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.’” 


Some of us believe it is our divine right to be predator and never prey, to have all resources on the planet at our disposal to be used how we see fit.


That’s why The Food of the Gods is terrifying. Because of the sheer size, brute force, and overwhelming population of common creatures we encounter daily, in this and other creature features like it, humans are reduced to fighting for their lives. Surviving, not thriving. And even when the characters are seemingly able to take back their position at the top of the food chain by the end of the movie, the cycle continues, because their children will be next. 


At the start of the global coronavirus pandemic, when the U.S. government was talking of containing the virus and stopping its spread, a good friend of mine said, “Nature always wins.” And I would agree. We have managed to not all die from SARS-Cov-2, but we were never able to contain it, we have simply survived it, and, in the process, we’ve lost more than a million people in the United States alone.


So, I tend to side with nature. Sure, the creatures rising up in these horror tales are frightening, but they are often the victims of humans first—military experimentation, unethical scientific practices, greedy and/or negligent governments and corporations. It’s a specific type of creature feature I’m drawn to, one in which humans have created the monster.


In the 1904 H.G. Wells novel, The Food of the Gods and How It Came to Earth, which served as the source material for the 1976 film, scientists—Mr. Bensington and Mr. Redwood—create the substance in a lab and test it on an experimental farm. Bensington discusses his intentions:


“Really, you know,” he said, rubbing his hands together and laughing nervously, “it has more than a theoretical interest.

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“For example,” he confided, bringing his face close to the Professor’s and dropping to an undertone, “it would perhaps, if suitably handled, sell.”


Challenging the idea of genetic engineering and scientific interference in nature, the work and others like it are a warning about people lacking reverence for the earth and its non-human inhabitants. 


Which is another criticism of Cocaine Bear—that the film makes light of a real-life tragedy. And there is truth in that. I too have compassion for the bear the film is loosely based on. After all, it died by eating cocaine dropped from a drug smuggler’s plane, bricks of coke that had otherwise been on their way to poison people.


Human malice is one reason horror films and books are cultural necessities. They hold up a mirror to the monsters inside us, our wicked ways that we often take for granted, our vile practices that sometimes go unnoticed. And human retribution tales, in particular, beg the question—does dominion mean violence?


Whether the movie is an entertaining, coked-out flick like Cocaine Bear, or a thought-provoking meditation on human vulnerability written shortly after World War II like Daphne du Maurier’s The Birds, human violence against nature is an additional lens through which to view these stories.


There are several works of horror fiction featuring creatures that are the direct result of human interference in nature, phenomena that often make news headlines but then are lost to time. 


The Host (2006): Military chemical dumping

Directed by Bong Joon-Ho, of Parasite fame, The Host features a mutant monster created by chemicals the American military dumped in South Korea’s Han River. The film follows one family and the way the beast’s arrival devastates their lives. 


And guess what. In 2000, the U.S. military admitted to disposing of 20 gallons of formaldehyde in Seoul’s wastewater system near the U.S. military base, an episode that drew protests by local activists, who accused the U.S. military of dumping far more than 20 gallons and not in the wastewater system, but in, you guessed it, the Han River.


Eight-Legged Freaks (2002): Corporate chemical spills

This horror comedy’s source of toxic waste in the river that creates the giant, killer spiders is a chemical spill from a truck in a bankrupt town. We’ve seen this story several times in the news before—Exxon-Valdez, anyone?—and often humans, especially poor and/or marginalized people, are the victims of corporate poisoning. 


Deep Blue Sea (1999): Animal testing

Scientists experimenting on shark brains in search of an Alzheimer’s cure accidentally increase the sharks’ intelligence, and the animals are now capable of coordinated attacks as they rise up against the humans in their underwater lab. 


The Humane Society estimates that more than 50 million animals are used in experiments in the United States each year, and the animals are typically killed at the end of the experiment. As of late 2022, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration no longer requires animal tests before human trials. Although sharks are not the animal of choice for most experiments, works of fiction like Deep Blue Sea force the audience to consider the rats, mice, monkeys, and dogs that are used in our labs.


Night of the Lepus (1972): Animal culling

Based on the Russell Braddon book The Year of the Angry Rabbit, this film’s science-experiment-gone-wrong might sound extreme—scientists are trying to reduce the rabbit population without also hurting the land around it. But in real life, the Australian government unleashed the myxoma virus on the rabbit population in the 1950s, and, over time, the rabbits developed immunity to it (though the virus might be evolving to outmaneuver the resistance). In the film, scientists inadvertently create mutant, killer rabbits. 


Reducing an animal population by finding some way to execute large swaths of them is known as culling, and it is common. Just type “culling” and…say…“male chicks” into a search engine, and you’ll get a better idea of this practice around the world. 


Daphne du Maurier’s The Birds (1952): Climate crisis
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The bird attacks resemble WWII air raids, and the setting in Daphne du Maurier’s 1952 version is South of London, not Bodega Bay in the San Francisco Bay Area like in the Alfred Hitchcock film. Through a modern lens, the story can be viewed as a meditation on human-induced climate change, as if du Maurier’s vision could stare down decades into the future—”I have a notion the weather will change. It will be a hard winter. That’s why the birds are restless.” 


And after the first attack in his home, on which Nat Hocken blames the weather, his wife challenges that assessment:


“But Nat,” whispered his wife, “it’s only this night that the weather turned. There’s been no snow to drive them. And they can’t be hungry yet. There’s food for them, out there, in the fields.”


“It’s the weather,” repeated Nat. “I tell you, it’s the weather.”


And shortly thereafter, Mrs. Trigg discusses the same:


“Can you tell me where this cold is coming from? Is it Russia? I’ve never seen such a change. And it’s going on, the wireless says. Something to do with the Arctic circle.”


Whether you believe The Birds’ pages infer climate change or that humans are responsible for the current climatic upheaval on this planet, the story is a taut, suspenseful read and is worth exploring if you haven’t, and again if you have.


By this point, you may have surmised that I maintain a plant-based diet. And as a writer, I often explore animal retribution narratives. In my story collection and recent novella, I look at the pets that no longer want to be “owned,” military-altered salamanders mutating to become killers who can possess their victims, killer zombie bats, trees that find a way to go after the people who chop them down, because I not only believe beasts could topple our planet’s hierarchy, but also that nature coming back to kill us is already happening. Nature always wins.

How to Write Horror Book Reviews (and Not Be a Wanker) by Rebecca Rowland


Let’s be clear from the get go: when I write “wanker,” I’m not talking about the punch-and-run internet trolls who slap one-star ratings on books with no explanation. Those individuals are best thought of as the screaming children in the supermarket: try to avoid the aisles they are in and be grateful they don’t have to come home with you. Thanks to Goodreads and (the word my spell check loves to hate) Bookstagramming, anyone and everyone can pen and publish their own assessments of the books they read. There are a number of websites who maintain a crew of vetted staff writers to do that very thing. Writing for a website does come with a bit more responsibility, such as keeping the review within word count parameters and following through with a review once you’ve committed to writing one, but whether you are writing for a site, maintaining a book-centered social media feed, or simply sharing your opinion of a purchase, there are some basic guidelines reviewers should try to follow if they wish to play nice in the (sometimes) snark-infested waters of book reviewing.

Thanks, in part, to the ubiquitous nature of Siskel and Ebert in late twentieth century America, some reviewers might feel justified in textually tearing a book to shreds. For those who are unfamiliar with the pair, Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert were Chicago newspaper film critics who hosted a series of movie review television shows from the early eighties to the mid-nineties. When they loved something or someone, their praise was overabundant to the point of uncomfortable, but when they didn’t care for a film, the verbal vitriol was unnerving. A prime example is one tirade by Ebert who classified a Rob Reiner flick as “one of the most unpleasant, contrived, artificial, cloying experiences I've had at the movies,” adding, “I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it.” Those under the age of forty or who lived nowhere near the tracks of Ebert’s hate train can at least agree that with the explosive expansion of the internet has come an influx of mean girl courage cloaked in anonymity, the beer-goggles of the digital age. For some reason, the ability to hide behind a screen has given carte blanche to those who relish seeing others fail and has fueled a twisted Goldilocks syndrome, the compulsion to find fault in everything. Unfortunately, what gets lost in that garbage pile is the real reason for a book review in the first place, and that is, simply, to inform other readers about a book. So, how can one avoid the tiger traps set out by 2023’s digital landscape and still deliver a book review that does, well, what it’s supposed to do?

Rule #1: Play fair.

First and foremost, your assessment should be your own. When possible, don’t read other reviews of a work before you make your own notes on it. Although our selection of books to read may be inspired initially by another reviewer’s post, try to keep outside voices where they belong: outside. Second, don’t fluff it if it doesn’t deserve it. There’s nothing more suspicious (and slightly unsettling) than a reviewer who absolutely! loves! everything! Kit Power posts that “I don’t review anything that I don’t a) finish and b) enjoy, regardless of how well I like someone,” and this is a major reason why I trust his reviews. They are honest and fair.

If you don’t like an aspect of the book, of course you can state that, but a simple “I didn’t care for” or “was not for me” suffices: there’s no need for a full-blown bonfire of hateful rhetoric. Recently, I stumbled across another person’s review of a collection I had recently finished and was taken aback: the reviewer penned a diatribe akin to one of Ebert’s venomous outbursts, including a bold statement that the book’s author, known best for his novels, had “no business attempting short fiction” and should learn to “stay in his lane.” It was as if the reviewer had gone to the writer’s home, dragged him onto the front lawn by the hair, and began beating him with a metal pipe. Third, if you’re lactose intolerant, don’t judge ice cream.  If you love splatter, don’t give a quiet horror piece a public dressing down simply for its lack of graphic gore.

Rule #2: Play nice.

While no one is asking for (whatever the horror version is of) Pollyanna to go traipsing about Goodreads, read for what works. Focus on what a writer does well rather than slipping into that greasy Goldilocks bathtub. Recognize that you aren’t Earth’s official spokesperson for what should and should not be read and enjoyed. What may not be your cup of tea may be exactly what hits the spot for another reader. You can frame criticism in a way that isn’t a total beat down, or you can say nothing at all. No one—except perhaps those employed to do so—is under any obligation to give their opinion of a book they’ve read. If I have agreed to review a book and find I don’t care for it whatsoever, I let the review website owner know that I am likely not the best fit for the piece. Perhaps that’s one reason I gravitate toward anthologies and short fiction collections: if a novel’s style, subject matter, or tone doesn’t jive with me, it’s not going to change, but in a book construction where variety is praised, it’s probable I will find something that tickles my fancy, even if other entries do not. As Daisy Lyle notes in one of her reviews, “I’m not usually a fan of this stuff…so for this review I’ll be mainly focusing on tales that are more up my street.” Steve Stred follows a model I quite enjoy: he divides his review into three sections: “What I liked,” “What I didn’t like,” and “Why you should buy this.” Furthermore, Stred always frames his reviews with the caveat that they are his own personal preferences (and not that his is the only opinion that matters) and tries to close on a high note.

Rule # 3: Don’t play Coach or Backseat Driver.

In other words, don’t suggest edits. A published book is a static product, and you are not a test audience giving notes. 99% of the time, the book you are reading is a done deal. Most publishing houses, even smaller ones, won’t go back into a doc to tweak something minor if the manuscript passed through a copy editor and proofer. Reputable presses will send the final versions to their authors months before release to give time for changes, but that isn’t always the case. Advance Reader Copies, or ARCs, are galleys that in most cases, have not passed through those second or third sets of eyes yet and will contain typos. It is with great shame that I admit: I’ve broken Rule #3, and in all sincerity, I am embarrassed to have done it. Being an editor and having worked for a press, I knew better: What was it I was trying to accomplish by pointing out minor mistakes most readers would miss?

Since the pandemic, printers and distributors have experienced delays, not only in the physical printing of goods but in updating digital files and picking up feeds with changes made to final products. Any changes within the two to three months prior to the release date can result in a book not releasing on time. I realize now: the reviews where I noted minor errors come off as, quite frankly, petty. Unless it’s an egregious error and you are certain the version you are reading is the final one, keep your red pen locked away. In a similar vein, don’t bash an author for making plot choices you wouldn’t have written. You can be disappointed that a conflict didn’t resolve the way you wished or that a character was killed off sooner than you would have liked; the fact that you are moved at all sounds like a win on the part of that author. But don’t tumble into Annie Wilkes’s guest room, wielding an angry axe.

Rule #4: Don’t be a wanker.

Don’t pen a hateful review for the sole purpose of feeding whatever dark parasite you’re nursing, whether it be a jealousy at someone’s success, a malignant sense of powerlessness, or a desperation to stay relevant. Conversely, don’t render an orthographic love letter with the ulterior motive of later “friending” the author for potential networking-cum-ladder-climbing. Whether your praise is sincere or not, the second action sullies the first, and readers (and authors) will always wonder if your opinion is nothing more than grandstanding for a career or social network bump.

If you accept a complimentary print copy of a work, make especially certain to read and review it. While digital copies cost next to nothing to provide, print copies often cost the publisher (or the author him/herself) the cover price of that book after shipping (even if printed by Amazon’s KDP service, prerelease, or proof, copies are not eligible for free shipping). That doesn’t mean you should color your review more favorably, but it does mean you should make good on your word. Finally, it without saying, but don’t blow off the review and then sell the print ARC on eBay. Yes, this kind of dirtbaggery happens, and yes, presses make note of those who do this.
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Thirty or more reviews on Amazon, even if scathing, make a title emerge in the site’s Suggested Reads algorithm, and no, that’s not fair. Big publishing companies have the money to advertise books more widely, and some independently wealthy writers pay to boost their review numbers. At the same time, there are website owners who encourage their reviewers to be snarky to attract drama (and schadenfreude site visits). As a reader, be wary of loaded language and reviewers who seem a little too gleeful at tearing down an author (or conversely, who seem to be so completely enamored of the author, you consider filing a restraining order on their behalf). Take with a grain of salt a low rating or scathing review from an individual who has read nothing else in the genre (or anything else, period). Reviews are to educate other readers about what books are out there; they shouldn’t be repurposed as personal vendettas, god complex invectives, or primal screams. As a reviewer, write for reputable sites with sane owners, and whenever possible, follow the four rules above. Ebert delivered enough vicious harangues to last us another few decades.

​Those who do not learn from history are doomed to (rep)eat it.

A mother and daughter negotiate the Oregon Trail with grisly results; an elementary teacher watches the carnage of The Challenger explosion spill over into her own classroom. A possible prospector traveling west is drawn to an isolated inn where no one walks away hungry; a 1950s housewife shares the gruesome repertoire of behavior expected of a proper lady. Prohibition and women's suffrage, the Civil War and the Vietnam War, the JFK assassination conspiracy and the Y2K hysteria: the annals of American history are reimagined with a side order of cannibalism by twenty of the biggest names writing horror fiction today.
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Forget what you read in the textbooks. 
Everything you were taught about the Land of Liberty is about to be history. 


With brand new fiction from Brian Asman, Daniel Braum, V. Castro, Douglas Ford, Jeffrey Ford, Holly Rae Garcia, Owl Goingback, C.V. Hunt, Gwendolyn Kiste, E.V. Knight, Clay McLeod Chapman, Ronald Malfi, Elizabeth Massie, Jeremy Megargee, Bridgett Nelson, Candace Nola, Clint Smith, Jon Steffens, L. Stephenson, and Jeff Strand; Foreword by Wrath James White