You wake up and find yourself in a horror franchise, what franchise would you prefer to wake up in and why?


I love the Alien franchise, especially the first two films and, as a kid, I used to daydream about being a space marine, purging LV-426 with a pulse rifle. But let’s be honest for a moment, the odds for survival are pretty low when it comes to even just one Alien, so a whole settlement full? I’m dead before dinner time to be fair – I’d be dead long before I learned they mostly come at night.


So, is this supposed to be the franchise I love the most, or the one in which I think I have a chance of surviving?


If we are going with survival, then I think the Dead franchise is probably the one. Dawn of the Dead feels like a fairly good deal, holed up in a Mall somewhere, barricaded in with enough supplies to keep going for a while. Now, I don’t want a zombie chowing down on a limb, but they don’t bleed acid and they don’t move like Linford Christie or Carl Lewis chasing gold, so you are always in with a sporting chance.


Of course, you then have the question of who you want to be trapped with? Do we have to accept the characters in that film, or can we have different people. Because, if we go with the people in the film, then I’m going to be worried about my safety. Any group of more than about 3 people in a Zombie film are bad news. They could be holed up in Fort Knox, but there will be one stupid enough to somehow let the zombies in. Probably while we are asleep and defenceless. I’m hopeful it wouldn’t be me, I think I am smarter than that but, if there is one thing these films tell us, it’s that we shouldn’t trust anyone!




You find yourself as the “Final One” which monster / villain would you most like to go up against and why do you think you would survive?


Again, and apologies that this is kinda vanilla, but shuffling zombies always feel like a good option. I might not be the fittest person in the world, but I reckon I could survive against a Romero zombie, or a Return of the Living Dead zombie. However, I don’t want one of those 28 Days Later or Zombieland zombies, that just looks like hard work. It’s a post-apocalyptic world, I deserve a rest!


And which creature would you least like to go up against?


The Thing. The creature from Carpenter’s classic is one of the ultimate monsters for one simple reason; unless it is in panic mode and moving from one hapless victim to the next, you don’t know who or what the hell it is. And, even when it is in panic mode, it seems pretty good at surviving, escaping and assimilating someone, or something else.


Freddie, Jason, Michael? You can see those bastards. They may well be hard to kill, but they are, on the whole, fairly easy to outrun, and they can’t possess you.


And that is what makes it scary. Anyone could be the Thing. You might think you were safe out of the snow, but in a big city, it could hundreds of people. It’s like Invasion of the Body Snatchers but without the warning signs of the pods. You just get up one day and Uncle George bleeding from his arse and melting Aunty Ethel’s face. The stalemate ending of the film is the only imaginable way things are going to end. Just two groups of people left, at least one of them likely possessed by The Thing, but The Thing just needs to wait it out. It survived thousands of years in the ice before, it can survive again. Me? I’ll be dropping off by about 3 in the afternoon and it will just eat me then.


You find yourself in Scooby Doo, which character are you, and who would you most like to have as the other members of Mystery Inc?


Are we talking real or fictional people? Or both? I guess the beard and love of a good sandwich sets me out as Shaggy, but perhaps I would replace some of the team? Velma could stay for the smarts (and everyone secretly fancied Velma over Daphne) and team her up with the ultimate detective, Batman. If we are out catching ghosts and goblins, that guy has some pretty special toys that could come in handy.


And how about Ed and Lorraine Warren from the Conjuring, just in case there were any real ghosts out there?


And maybe Hellboy for the muscle and zingy one liners.


Maybe we can bio-engineer a cyborg cross between Scooby and K-9.


Sorry Fred and Daphne, but maybe you can enjoy some alone time?


And Scrappy Doo? You can fuck right off, son.


Pinhead pops round for an evening of fun, what are you pains and pleasures?


Pinhead I can deal with, but if that fucker turns up with anything slug related, then I’m out. Not sure what it is about them, but I think it goes back to camping in the back garden in a tent and waking up to find a 4-foot (no exaggeration) slug crawling in my sleeping bag. I know what you are saying, ‘he probably poo’d himself in the night,’ but that bugger was slimy and had teeth like a Critter. So, ever since then, I just can’t stand them. It is fairly irrational, but that’s my Kryptonite; jeez, I would be a crap superhero if you just had to throw a homeless snail at me to defeat me.


I’m easy to please but pretty sure that Pinhead would not be turning up with Sushi and Profiteroles, but you can only hope.

The Wishmaster gives you three wishes

1.  You can wish to write in any franchise


Well, this may be a bit of a cheat as it is, technically, 2 franchises, but Aliens and Predator, precisely so we can get a decent Aliens vs Predator film on the big screen. Now I am not necessarily saying the existing films are bad, but they just didn’t capitalize on either franchise in the best way, IMHO!


I read the 5-part AvP comic series from Dark Horse as a Teenager and remember getting a little excited by the sight of the Alien Skull in the spaceship at the end of Predator 2.


But, alas, we didn’t get the film based in the comic universe that could have been awesome. I’ve only watched the AvP films once I think and I seem to remember there being elements of the comics in there, but you had to dig for them and the stories were vastly different.
They say to write what you want to see and, as a life-long Alien devotee, I’d love to write the screenplay for a straight up adaptation of the Dark Horse Comic, and capitalise on the AvP tease at the end of Predator 2… and then I can do the novelization of the film after it becomes a resounding success!


In fact, I haven’t read the comics for years, so might dig them out while I wait for Pinhead and the Sushi (please sushi, not slugs… sushi, not slugs.)

2. You can wipe one franchise from the minds of everyone


I don’t really want to do this as no one ever sets out to make a crap film and one man’s rubbish is another man’s treasure. But, bearing in mind the point above, maybe a reboot is about due. We don’t need to delete the other films, just reboot it with great pomp and circumstance so everyone is focused on the new one.

3. You can date your horror crush

Who do you chose?


Winona Ryder. I have always had a soft spot for Winona. My wife already knows this and, to be fair, doesn’t look a million miles different, so I guess I have a type?


From the first time I saw her in Beetlejuice, rented from our local off-license’s collection of about 27 VHS tapes, to her continuing adventures in Stranger Things, I have always taken a bit of a shine to Winona. And, in between, she hasn’t been a stranger (see what I did there) to horror, putting in fantastic performances in things like Edward Scissorhands, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Alien Resurrection, Black Swan and even Frankenweenie if you are counting voice acting. So, she knows how to handle herself in a crisis. In fact, if the date starts just before I end up trapped in a horror franchise, I’m gonna hope that Winona is trapped in there with me… just so I can be sure I will be able to escape intact and make it home to my wife…

Growth happens through change, and change necessitates unique life experiences. Problem is, it’s easy to get caught up in the familiar. That’s not to say comfortable indulgences don’t have their place, but they’re more sustenance than a delicacy. To elicit change and grow, I strive for delicacies that will sear the memory of their consumption into my brain.

One of the richest delicacies I’ve ever consumed is House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski. The book altered how I view horror, writing, and expanded the definition of both “story” and “novel”. I think more than any genre, horror has the most growth potential, and this book adds a strong point to that argument.

I’ve loved horror my whole life—it offers a safe place to cope with and experience fear. I also appreciate how it (usually) walks a fine line between reality and fiction. I’m big into all speculative fiction, but horror tends to tug at the fabric of reality with the most gusto. Maybe ghosts are real, perhaps the devil exists, and psychopathic serial killers are without a doubt a thing. By contrast, I’m confident faster-than-light travel and dragons don’t exist (at least on Earth). The possibility of another plane of existence is as exciting as it is terrifying.

House of Leaves is a masterpiece because it makes a mess of this fine line. References to the real world are interspersed with references to events and media that could exist, had a few things gone differently. The titular house is explored in a way that’s almost tangible, thanks to the strong description found in all good books, as well as unique elements like “historical” footnotes and formatting that adds a physical component to the story. Fiction and reality continue to blur as the reader progresses through the book’s multiple storylines. By the end of it, I felt so immersed that I spent hours decompressing. I had to crawl back to reality as if I’d gotten lost in the house proper.

I’ve seen, read, and played so much horror content that I’m usually onto the next thing in my life once I’m done. I’ve walked away from some of the world’s most heralded horror movies, books, and games with as little effort as changing a TV channel. I read House of Leaves years ago, but I still think about it more than any other piece of literature.

This fascination encouraged me to get back into and stick with writing when that 2020-event-that-shall-not-be-named started up. Instead of my usual foray (an overly ambitious multi-book epic fantasy series), I decided to write a standalone story that got inside my readers’ heads. That led to the birth of Claire Rossi, psychiatrist and protagonist of A Broken Clock Never Boils. From there, I crafted a unique central conflict: her patients’ symptoms would gradually infect her. Like House of Leaves, I also included a subplot for dedicated readers to decipher and interpret (though nowhere near the level of MZD’s genius).

To make all of this happen, I quit my “job” that same year (I was self-employed, so quitting meant winding down my business). This was a hard decision. I could’ve split my time between working and writing, but my attention is so easy to divert that I fall into nonproductive habits without a central focus. I had also saved enough that I’m years away from turning into a “starving artist”. What put me over the edge was that over the last few years, I’d grown to respect authors more than any other profession. House of Leaves isn’t the sole reason for that shift, but it played a vital role.

As with good horror, there’s a large unknown factor at work here. Maybe I’m blowing House of Leaves’s influence out of proportion. Maybe the big picture wouldn’t look any different without it. But like some of the best meals of my life, I can still recall a wealth of detail from House of Leaves, as if I’d finished it yesterday. Thus, I encourage anyone reading this to give it a read. Once you finish, feel free to hit me up on my website/Twitter/wherever and talk at length about it. I’ll be more than happy to listen.

My debut novel, A Broken Clock Never Boils, is available on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Clock-Never-Boils-ebook/dp/B0BC2Q4DT4). During its launch window, it’s priced at $0.99 for the ebook and $9.99 for the paperback.

IS IT MADNESS OR THE SUPERNATURAL?

Psychiatrist Claire Rossi seeks cases nobody else can treat—cases like her mother's, whose misdiagnosis of schizophrenia and subsequent death inspired Claire’s career. Initially infatuated with an influx of seemingly schizophrenic patients, interest turns to terror as their ailments infect her too. She sees and hears a man who grows more violent with every encounter. The analysis and training she’s relied on her whole career fail to explain his presence, leaving only one conclusion: that what haunts her isn't in her head at all. But maybe that's just what she wants to believe.

As her symptoms escalate, she's left with two unsettling clues. Her mother speaks to her in twisted idioms, and a mysterious letter taunts her with a single line:
Enjoy your gifts.

A Broken Clock Never Boils is a slow burn, supernatural psychological thriller, with tension building steadily until its dramatic climax. It's written for readers seeking a middle ground between Gillian Flynn's mystery thrillers and Stephen King's supernatural horror.
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As the coming year approaches three best friends reluctantly prepare for Hooper Industries’ annual New Year’s Eve bash. The clock ticks down and the body count rises as a psychotic murderer known as The Doctor is on the loose. This sadistic surgeon of death leaves Owensboro covered in blood as local police and FBI are forced to navigate through a maze of bodies left in his wake. Unbeknownst to the three best friends their mandatory party is about to turn deadly when the killer sets his sights on them. December 31st becomes a party to die for when Leslie, Brian, Moses and their colleagues are trapped inside an inescapable building with a blood thirsty madman hell bent on carving his way to midnight.

WINTER HAUNTS SERVES UP AN ONLINE DAY OF GHOST STORIES AND GOTHIC FICTION THIS NOVEMBER
Read on for your chance to win a ticket to this fantastic event…

Writing Magazine and Alex Davis Events have teamed up to present WINTER HAUNTS,  a huge day of workshops, interviews, talks and panels for writers and readers of ghost stories and the Gothic.

Taking place on the 6th November, this online event gathers together a range of authorial talent from across the world, featuring interviews and talks with Sarah Waters (The Little Stranger, Fingersmith), Paul Tremblay (The Cabin at the End of the World, The Pallbearers Club), Dacre Stoker (Dracul, Dracula the Un-Dead), Stephen Volk (Ghostwatch, The Dark Masters Trilogy), Carole Johnstone (Mirrorland, The Blackhouse) and AM Shine (The Watchers, The Creeper).

This will be complimented by a lively workshop and panel programme, featuring acclaimed authors from all over the world in JS Breukelaar, Gwendolyn Kiste, Ronald Malfi, Alison Moore, Lindy Ryan, Sarah Ward, Alexandrea Weis and Stephanie M Wytovich.

Event organiser Alex Davis said: ‘It’s been a really exciting experience to work with Writing Magazine on an event like this, and it’s enabled us to put together an incredible array of talent. A huge range of publishers have been hugely supportive too, and I can’t wait to get stuck into a day that promises to be a must-attend for fans and authors in the field.’

Tickets for the event are £50 for both threads of activity, or £30 for a single thread of activity. For more information, or to get your tickets, visit https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/winter-haunts-tickets-403503559007

HOW TO KILL MONSTERS: A Horror Comedy Feature Film Evil Dead II meets Hot Fuzz in a Practical FX driven horror comedy from the people that brought you Book of Monsters!

HOW TO KILL MONSTERS is a practical effects driven horror comedy movie from Dark Rift Horror, the award winning studio that brought you BOOK OF MONSTERS and THE CREATURE BELOW. 

Inspired by genre classics like Evil Dead 2, Gremlins and Hellraiser; How to Kill Monsters is a feature length movie made for fans of 80s horror. With a dash of British humour in the vein of Hot Fuzz and the self aware twists and turns of Scream, our goal is to deliver horror fans a blood-soaked popcorn horror movie that will have you on the edge of your seat from start to finish.
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With a menagerie of monsters realised entirely with practical effects and buckets of fake blood and guts thrown in for good measure, the movie will pay tribute to the classics we grew up watching on VHS, whilst delivering an original story filled with rich characters that you'll love watching die in horrible ways!
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For more information on the film and full details of the excellent pledge rewards please follow this link 

​https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/stewartsparke/how-to-kill-monsters-a-horror-comedy-feature-film

There’s a 1971 horror film called The Brotherhood of Satan that I watched on TV once, years ago. It’s campy, Satanist fun, but it really got to me. Not the Satanism, not the “child in peril” trope, not even the inventive climax that was kind of a precursor to Being John Malkovich.


A family keeps trying to drive out of a small, rural town and no matter what they do, they can’t leave.


I’ve seen a similar type of thing in many films since, but this was the first time. Even though the film’s larger metaphor is not that your hometown is inescapable, that’s the terror it touched in me. It all looked eerily familiar.


For many years—probably since I left my own hometown—I dream that I’m back in Tiffin, Ohio. No matter what direction I walk or drive, no matter what my plans are or how determined I am, something keeps me from ever leaving..


Usually, I find myself walking down the “grass alley” —a path where a series of back yards meet, leading from my back yard to a big willow tree by another alley. Tiffin is lousy with alleys. And by the time I get to the willow, I get turned around and every alley seems to lead to the wrong place. I take one, realize it’s the wrong one or go the wrong direction.


Or I take an alley then remember my car is at someone else’s house and I can’t remember how to get there. Or my ride stayed back at my house, and I’ve been gone so long they’ve probably left by now.


That specific anxiety is common enough for a coming-of-age tale like mine. In Roost, twin girls face mounting danger as they approach their 18th birthday. What will they do next and will they do it together are questions that hang in the air. But more importantly to the sisters is whether the town itself will let them go.


My own anxiety, the one that still visits me as I sleep, had less to do with the fear of what was out there in the unknown future. My fear was my hometown itself. That’s the anxiety I think seeps through onto the page: the isolation, the push toward conformity, the fucking cornfields that surround the town like a prison wall.


And though now, a lifetime and many miles from my hometown, I can see it as a charming example of rural Ohio, that same dread still wakes me up at night.


Roost is available in print, e-book and audio book format from Off Limits Press.

Every spring in small town Ohio, kids get a touch more daylight, wander a little farther from the front porch, and spend a bit more time off on their own, exploring.


One such spring, the Murphy twins were considered an Easter miracle. And now, almost 18 years later - Easter week, 1988 - the girls approach their birthday, and busybodies around town get a little anxious. Every time their birthday falls on Easter Sunday, bad things seem to happen, and the neighbors have noticed.


A babysitter goes missing. The little girl up the road meets a bad end. Maybe it's coincidence. Maybe living in a town dropped smack in the middle of farmland - with miles of corn in every direction - makes people feel isolated from the outside. Folks start to see evil where it isn't.


Or maybe this year, the devil's come home to roost.​