 CRIMINALLY INSANE (1975) Dir. Nick Philips, USA, 61 minsThere are a lot of films on the 'I want to watch that at some point' list, and among them is Criminally Insane. You can thank the comedy stylings of one of my favourite YouTube channels, The Cinema Snob, for that, in highlighting this notorious mid-70s slasher. I say notorious – no doubt there are many movies out there that are better known, but in cult circles this is a movie that comes with a certain reputation. Director Nick Philips was prolific from the late 60s to the late 80s, and was still helming films into the 2000s, including a 2003 version of Henry James' Turn of the Screw. Criminally Insane is also sometimes known as Crazy Fat Ethel, which probably better bottles in a few words what this one is all about. We begin with Ethel Janowski in a mental hospital, before she's released into the custody of her grandmother. However, on doctor's advice, Ethel's grandma tries to make her grandaughter eat less – not something that Ethel welcomes at all, to the point of stabbing her grandmother when she tries to lock the fridge. Things devolve pretty quickly from there, as Ethel continues to binge before the arrival of Rosalie, who had been staying with Ethel's grandma. Unfortunately Ethel simply leaves her grandmother's corpse to rot, which soon enough arouses the suspicion of Rosalie and scumbag boyfriend John ('I'll tell you why I hit you... sometimes you girls need a beating, you all do' is a typically lovely line of sample dialogue from him). Add into that the fact that Ethel has been skipping out on her continuing electroshock therapy (??) and it's not long until the pressure of life back in society is getting too much, leading to a shocking conclusion... That story probably doesn't sound too bad, and the irony is that this could have been a really good movie in different hands, or even with a bigger budget. This was made for $30,000 – not a lot of money even back in 1975 – and the lack of every cent really shows here. The movie is shot on video, which cuts and stutters throughout, and the whole feel of the movie is incredibly choppy. The editing cuts remarkably quickly, sometimes confusingly, and the effects look absolutely atrocious – the blood doesn't look or behave anything like blood, and ultimately I suspect we're actually watching red paint for the most part. The acting for the most part is pretty ropey, especially from many of the side characters, and there are so many parts of the story that just don't hold any logic. How on earth Ethel's murderous rampage isn't discovered much earlier is beyond me given how badly she hides those crimes. Basically every character other than Ethel winds up dead at the end of the tale, not that you'd really miss any of them – most are either barely in it or fundamentally unlikeable. And the ending itself is so rushed you could literally blink and miss it – and given the whole thing scarcely runs 60 minutes there's no real reason to rush it. This is such a strange offering it almost needs to be seen to be believed – in its own way it's a compelling way to spend an hour of your life. It's not good – in fact it misses the mark horribly in every regard – but like Black Devil Doll or The Room before it, there's a grim fascination in just how poor this one us. But while those almost go full circle to 'so bad it's good' territory, this one is unfortunately fairly tedious and lacks the oddball charm of those particular movies. In a way I am glad I've finally seen it, because it lives up to everything I had heard about it and more. RATING: 2/10. Criminally Insane does practically everything really poorly, but I have to give it something for what was – or at least could have been – an interesting plot and for at least holding a few comedy moments, be they intentional or otherwise. Maybe the whole thing was shot deliberately to be this awful with a view to being a future cult classic, but I don't think it's even achieved that goal if that ever existed. All in all it's a criminally bad 2/10. 
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