 We are living in a golden age of horror on TV. Shows like ‘The Walking Dead’, ‘Supernatural’ and ‘American Horror Story’ have effectively taken the genre mainstream, offering weekly doses of gore and mayhem to the masses. Go back a decade or two however, and genre fans had far fewer options to choose from. Anthology shows, like ‘Tales From the Crypt’, ‘Monsters’ or ‘Tales From the Darkside’ were king during the horror heyday of the 1980s, providing cheesy and cheerful tongue in cheek horror in half hour bites. It wasn’t until 2005 that the TV horror anthology show got serious, and delivered arguably the most consistent, memorable and scary anthology show to date. The brainchild of horror legend Mick Garris, the show’s title is no hyperbole. ‘Masters of Horror’ brought together the best horror talent Hollywood (and beyond) had to offer. Episodes directed by undisputed genre luminaries such as John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper, Dario Argento and Stuart Gordon were like hour long movies brought to your TV screen. High production values, A-List talent and a free reign to do whatever they pleased resulted in some truly unforgettable work from a group of horror legends let off their leash. These are stories that have stayed with me in the fifteen years since many initially aired and, in this series, I’ll be revisiting all twenty-six episodes, one at a time, to shine a light on a fondly remembered and undeniably influential moment in horror TV history. Join me as I take a look back at The Washingtonians Directed by: Peter Medak Starring: Johnathon Schaech, Myron Natwick, Saul Rubinek, Venus Terzo Original Air Date: 26 January 2007 Synopsis: When clearing out the home of his recently deceased grandmother, a family man discovers some shocking correspondence that suggests that Americas founding father, George Washington, was a cannibal. REVISITING THE MASTERS OF HORROR: THE WASHINGTONIANS, DIRECTED BY PETER MEDAKBy 2007, when ‘The Washingtonians’ aired, I was already a massive Bentley Little fan. I was reading any novels of his I could get my hands on after picking up my first one not too long before (I believe it was ‘The Association, for anyone who’s curious, and it’s still one of my favourites of his). His novels were always dark and bizarre, weird and shocking, with a social commentary underlying them, and I couldn’t get enough. That fact alone made this episode (based on one of his short stories of the same name) one of my most anticipated. I do, however, believe this was the first thing I had watched that was directed by Peter Medak. Fast forward to today, and I think ‘The Changeling’ is an underrated genre classic, but in 2007, I hadn’t even watched ‘Species II’ yet. Shame on me, right? We meet the Franks family at the beginning of the episode as they are travelling to the father, Mike’s (Johnathon Schaech) late grandmother’s house in order to attend her funeral and begin the process of packing up her belongings. When they arrive, they are met by Samuel (Myron Natwick) who is there to let them into the house. He seems genial and friendly enough, at first, A little eccentric maybe, but we won’t hold that against him. Still, something about him seems a little… off. He seems to spend an awful lot of time talking to Mike’s young daughter Amy (Julia Tortolano) and when, after Samuel has left, Mike assures her that “Not everyone’s gonna reach out and bite ya”, you do wonder whether Samuel may be the exception that proves the rule. The Franks have an incredible work ethic because no sooner are they in the house but they get straight to clearing it out. Amy is startled by a huge portrait painting of George Washington down in the basement, knocking it over in her panic. Mike doesn’t seem too fazed. He confesses that he too found the painting a little creepy when he used to visit his grandmother as a kid. Turns out he had very good reason to as when he notices a rip in the corner of the painting, he spots something hidden behind it. A letter. Most viewers will know at this point whether they are going to enjoy this episode or not. The big reveal is that the letter was seemingly written by George Washington himself (he was born in the town the Franks grew up in). The letter begins by stating “I will skin your children and eat them” before proclaiming that he will “fashion utensils out of their bones”. A somewhat surprising turn of events for the United States first president, and the founding father of America. If you think this is a silly development, then you ain’t seen nothing yet. If (like me) you found the concept hilarious, then you are in for a real treat.  I’m going to address the elephant in the room. Mysterious messages left by long-dead presidents, secret societies, clues left behind to find in present-day… It sounds an awful lot like a mix between ‘The Da Vinci Code’ and ‘National Treasure’. If you thought either of those films could have been improved with graphic cannibalism (I’m not sure I could handle seeing Tom Hanks messily chowing down on somebody’s spleen, but Nicholas Cage? Wouldn’t even crack his top ten weird movie moments) then ‘The Washingtonians’ is right up your alley. Those strange vibes we got from Samuel? Turns out he is a Washingtonian. A member of an elite society who is not only aware of George Washington’s child eating proclivities but also keep the tradition alive in the modern-day. The Franks even get a late-night visit from a couple of them, dressed in powdered wigs and sporting some awful wooden false teeth. They bang on the door and demand the letter, to which Mike responds (rather reasonably for a horror movie) by calling the police. We get a lot of exposition on the Washingtonians from a local Professor (Saul Rubinek, who totally steals the show), who urges Mike to leave before the Washingtonians take the letter from him by force. It proves to be too little too late however as the Washingtonians return later than night in force, breaking into the house and kidnapping the Franks. While the Bentley Little short is darkly humorous, the script for this episode (penned by another immensely talented horror author, Richard Chizmar) dials up the humour and embraces the ridiculousness inherent in the concept. I personally think it was a wise choice because, while the more serious tone totally works on the page in the Little original, I’m not convinced it would have translated to the screen quite so well if there weren’t a more overt nod to the outlandish nature of it all. Fun fact; Richard Chizmar also penned an unproduced screenplay for Stephen Kings ‘From a Buick 8 (one of my favourites). Based on this episode, it is a shame it never made it to screen, because I think he would be a great fit. So far, the episode has been mostly build-up and very little action. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m about ready to see what the deal is with these Washingtonians. I certainly get my answer, and it's crazier than I ever dreamt it could be. The Franks are brought into a lavish dining room by Samuel, where dozens of locals are dressed up in 17th-century get-up, getting ready to have their evening meal (someone who tells the Franks that they are “thrilled to have them for dinner” gets a rousing cheer from the room). A veritable feast is brought out for them, consisting of a large platter of people parts. It is not the best episode to be watching when you are eating a meal of your own. The Washingtonians are pretty messy eaters. Ambitious too, when somebody with a plate full of intestines declares that they’ll be eating Mike and his wife next, and saving Amy for dessert, I can’t help but wonder if they have eyes bigger than their bellies. Overall, this is a pretty faithful adaptation of the Bentley Little short, but there is one change that was made that I wish hadn’t come to pass. In the filmed version, the Washingtonians are taken down by the police, but in the Little story, it was the redcoats. Maybe the budget didn’t quite stretch to the uniforms, or maybe it was just a little too out there, but I do think that would have been a pretty great ending. I have gravitated towards the lighter, more fun episodes of Masters of Horror throughout this series, and ‘The Washingtonians’ strikes a really fine balance between the comedy and the horror. The Washingtonians spend much of the episode being a whispered rumour, and they don’t disappoint when they finally appear on screen. The ending more than makes up for a slow build-up with a lavish and grand scale set-piece that is certainly not for the squeamish. It’s a great finale to a very enjoyable episode. Speaking of finales… Join me next time as I’ll be wrapping up this series with a look back at the final episode of the second season, Norio Tsurta’s ‘Dream Cruise’. See you then! If you missed any of Richard's previous Revisting The Masters of Horror articles, you can find links to them all here on our handy landing page THE MASTERS OF HORROR  Richard is an avid reader and fan of all things horror. He supports Indie horror lit via Twitter (@RickReadsHorror) and reviews horror in all its forms for several websites including Horror Oasis and Sci Fi and Scary TODAY ON THE GINGER NUTS OF HORROR WEBSITE ONCE UPON A FANG IN THE WEST BY JOHN DOVER (BOOK REVIEW) THE HEART AND SOUL OF HORROR FEATURES Comments are closed.
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