THE HORROR OF HUMANITY: PANIC ATTACKS: THE MONSTER UNDER THE BED BY JON O’BERGH

14/6/2021

As I took control over my circumstances and made positive changes, the attacks gradually subsided. You never completely conquer them, of course. They are the monster under the bed that, every once in a while, creeps out to haunt you. But now I know how to sap its power.

Panic attacks. If you’ve never had one, it’s hard to imagine how utterly terrifying they are. The racing heartbeat. The sense of impending doom. The impression of falling into a black hole. The impulse to just start running, as if pursued by a demon. I experienced my first panic attack during my second year of college. It came out of nowhere while I was trying to fall asleep. Not knowing what was happening, I thought I was going crazy.

That autumn, I had begun to feel directionless, unsure of what to do with my life, dissatisfied with school, and increasingly isolated from any social network. It’s not surprising that such feelings would manifest as anxiety. At first, the attacks came at bedtime. But then they started intruding at any hour. The anxiety was not about anything in particular—that’s what made it so baffling.

Fortunately, I sought help from a school counselor. She taught me techniques to calm the anxiety and encouraged me to make changes to my situation. I switched majors, moved into a dorm where I knew people, and started attending meetings of the gay and lesbian students club. I learned that people commonly think they are having a heart attack or going mad during an attack. As I took control over my circumstances and made positive changes, the attacks gradually subsided. You never completely conquer them, of course. They are the monster under the bed that, every once in a while, creeps out to haunt you. But now I know how to sap its power.

Several conditions fall under the umbrella of anxiety disorders. In addition to Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), there are Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and phobias. My particular situation in college showed up as what psychologists call Panic Disorder. Those bouts came on suddenly and peaked. But several decades later I experienced a constant state of anxiety for weeks on end—not technically GAD, which involves chronic, excessive worry about particular things, but an amorphous sense of panic. It was so relentless that I decided I would need to end my life if there was no relief. Once again, though, I sought help and got it under control. I learned to become aware of what I was feeling and thinking when attacks began, and how to derail the negative thoughts that seemed to precipitate the attacks.

The scariest thing about panic attacks is not understanding what they are—and feeling helpless to do anything about them. But we are not helpless. Tools include counseling, medication, relaxation techniques, and behavior modification. The important thing is to seek help, to know that you are not alone and don’t have to suffer in silence. That’s why it’s critical to raise awareness about mental health issues. And that’s why I decided one of my characters in Shockadelica would struggle with anxiety.

Drag artist Kendall Akande has experienced a recurring nightmare since he was a toddler. Like many of us who grapple with depression, anxiety, and other demons, he’s a horror fan. Maybe the reason, he says, is that it inoculates him against his fears.

Kendall hosts a horror podcast with his best friend Jenna Chen. When they learn that their Victorian-era apartment building might be haunted, they see an opportunity for a podcast episode. But as they investigate further with the help of their quirky neighbors, they uncover something far more sinister, starting with the appearance of a goat-headed man. Kendall’s nightmare morphs into panic attacks. He even begins to suffer night terrors, where the dreamer awakens but is unable to move and senses an oppressive presence in the room.

Mysterious incidents and other horrors pile up, eventually causing Kendall to have a revelation. He reinvents himself and takes control over the existential threats facing him and his neighbors. Steel is forged in fire, as they say. That’s one of the messages I hope readers take away from the story—especially those readers who struggle with an anxiety disorder.

Weaving together supernatural legends from Ireland, Nigeria, and China, Shockadelica tells a story about fear, prejudice, and overcoming adversity. It’s available from Amazon: https://smarturl.it/0z9792

An album of horror-themed songs by one of the characters known as the Bone Man, whose arms are covered with tattoos of serial killers, complements the novel and can be found at most streaming sites.

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to increasing awareness and improving the diagnosis, treatment, and cure of anxiety disorders. Its sister organization in the U.K. is Anxiety UK. They provide a number of online resources—a good place to start if you or a loved one might need help.

Don’t suffer in silence.

Jon O’Bergh is an author and musician who appreciates a good scare. He received a Bachelor of Arts in Music from the University of California at Irvine. A fan of ghost stories and horror movies, O’Bergh came up with the idea for his first novel, The Shatter Point, after watching a documentary about extreme haunts. He has published five books and released over a dozen albums in a variety of styles. His supernatural short stories have appeared in anthologies and magazines. After many years living in San Francisco and Washington, D.C., he now resides with his husband in Toronto.

WEBSITE LINKS
Author website: https://obergh.net
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/JonOBergh
Twitter: @jon_obergh
The Bone Man: https://theboneman.hearnow.com

Weaving together supernatural legends from Ireland, Nigeria, and China, "Shockadelica" follows two friends who must confront their own fears while fighting an evil, existential threat. With a dash of humor and horror, the story explores prejudice, conspiracy theories, and things that aren't what they appear to be, offering a critical look at the current state of the world.

Two horror podcasters―drag artist Kendall Akande and best friend Jenna Chen―share a passion for art, fashion, and horror. When they find out their Victorian-era apartment building might be haunted, they see an opportunity for an entertaining podcast episode. They learn that a past resident, inspired by demonic images of a goat-headed man, lured victims to his apartment and murdered them. While visiting his grave, they are spooked by a man in a goat mask who watches from the bushes.

The two friends launch their investigation and get a glimpse into the lives of their unusual neighbors. Rooney Xavier posts fake online testimonials for businesses and starts dating the landlord's son, hoping for perks. Aging fashion diva Morvena Delacroix rages against any noise Rooney makes downstairs. The Nigerian/Irish witch Lilith Adebayo offers interventions to help Kendall with his nightmares. Lucy Lee talks to her vegetables when she cooks and helps Jenna cope with her grandmother's worsening dementia. An intimidating musician named the Bone Man has tattoos of serial killers covering his arms. The dignified Mrs. Gupta, architect Elliott Bernbaum, and a reclusive tenant in the basement round out the cast. As strange sightings and sounds spread, Kendall and Jenna visit the landlord on Ward's Island, but his house of curiosities only deepens the mystery. Then a stranger appears who promises protection if Kendall sacrifices something of value.

As the ghosts of the past become entwined with the growing terror, Kendall and Jenna must use their creativity to confront the evil force that threatens them all.

An album of horror-themed songs by the Bone Man complements the novel and is available at most streaming sites and online retailers.