We’re back again for the second instalment of Tro-March, and we kicked off rather impressively with the wild but tremendously fun Killer Condom. Can Tro-March continue at this sort of lofty standard, or have we rather set ourselves up for a fall?

The short answer is yes. Yes, we have.

Today’s offering has no less great a title, and once I get the ball rolling I did recall having watched this movie some years back, rented on an honest to goodness VHS while I was at University. This was back in the day when it was 5 videos for 5 pound for a week – heady days for those of you with a long enough memory. If I remember right, it featured as part of a horror movie all-nighter, which might explain why I could call some bits to mind but not others. I’m sure even the most hardened of all-nighters-goers has a little nod off somewhere along the way. Unfortunately the title is absolutely the best thing about Rabid Grannies – after the title card it’s all rather downhill.

Rabid Grannies is the story of a family of grasping, clutching types of all stripes who attend a 92nd birthday party for the grande dames of the family. The familial connections were never totally clear to me, but rest assured everyone feels they have some sort of claim to a juicy inheritance, which is the sole reason they’ve attended. There’s about half an hour of setting them up, but it’s largely done in less time than that and you could have made this shorter on that alone. We also see a little of the staff at the house, and I have a sense these opening moments are meant to make us care something about their fate. I don’t think you’re meant to root for them, more rejoice in them getting killed off one by one, but it didn’t even elicit that from me as an emotional response. It was just hard to care about anything all told.

Anyway, it’s at this 30 minute or so mark that a mysterious gift gets dropped off, and when the grannies open it up they turn… well, rabid. It’s not rabid strictly, more demonically possessed, but they start by swiftly swallowing up one of their guests, and the remaining runtime is a sort of frantic chase through the vast house (which in reality is a castle somewhere in Belgium) as the family tries to escape the vengeful nature of the possessed matriarchs. In fact, speaking of matriarchs, it occurred to me that the movie has all but the same plot as The Matriarch – which I honestly far preferred. Maybe that comparison made me feel more unfavourable to Rabid Grannies, but this one falls short on a lot of fronts. The acting is terrible, and the lousy dubbing from the original French does little to help on that front. It feels inadvertently comic at times. It’s never explained what actually happened to the ‘Rabid Grannies’ for them to turn the way they did, and that would have helped the story along mightily. There are character arcs of sort in place, but they honestly feel like an afterthought there. Given some more weight they might have leant something, but as is this is just a whole lot of screaming and blood and mess. There’s just nothing much to invest in as a viewer, and I can only award this a couple of points for the odd interesting moment.

RATING: 2.5/10. I said last week there are good b-movies and bad b-movies, and sadly Rabid Grannies lands itself in that second camp. This one seems to eschew plot for the most part in favour of a series of loosely linked deaths featuring character it’s impossible to care about. I think I’m meant to hate them, but I didn’t even get to a point of feeling that – if it was even the intention. And to top it all off, the grannies of the title are not even rabid at all! Talk about false advertising… there’s nothing here that you won’t have seen done better before or since elsewhere, so this one lands a pretty poor 2.5/10.

Welcome to Tro-March!

I made it a New Year’s resolution at the start of 2021 to serve up more themed months for Film Gutter this year, and in that spirit I bring you Tro-march! It actually amazed me looking back the Film Gutter output over six years just how few Troma films I’d ever taken a look at – there was Combat Shock, and as far as I can figure that’s it. Which for a movie studio specialising in low-budget, cult and often b-movie horror is pretty surprising. So throughout March I will be doing something to redress that balance with four Troma reviews, kicking off with a look at Killer Condom.

It’s well acknowledged I’m a sucker for a quirky or interesting title, so Killer Condom drew me in immediately on those grounds. It’s in German but set in New York – whyever not? – which provides a little bit of an obstacle in the early going, but if you can push past that barrier this one has some value to it.

The story follows grizzled, gay New York cop Luigi Mackeroni, who is of Italian descent (the name is a hint, of course) and often cruises the gay club and bar scene in the area. It’s there he meets young Billy, and an unlikely romance is struck up – until their first liaison is broken up by a killer condom munching off one of Luigi’s testicles. Of course his police chief and his partner are incredulous at the suggestion, but for Luigi this has become deeply personal. And when more and more of those violent prophylactics begin emerging into the streets and places of New York, something has to be done – and Luigi is the man to bring the madness to an end, uncovering a plot that runs far deeper than anyone would have expected…

I can’t pretend that this one isn’t silly in the extreme, but there’s plenty that I found likeable about it. The lead performance by Udo Samel is hilarious, and he hams up the jaded police officer routine delightfully. The whole police environment in the movie is played for laughs to, being toxicly masculine to the point of parody. The terrifying condoms themselves do look OK effects-wise, bearing in mind this movie is now 25 years old, and of course that central concept provides a few chuckles here and there too. If you’re a fun of ridiculous and overblown B-movies and creature features, you’re bound to get something out of this one.

With that said, there are some criticisms I would level. The finale of the movie – while pretty wild to look at – feels a little undercooked in terms of its set-up and comes rather out of nowhere. It’s also not a movie I would really have expected to be 107 minutes long – it feels like the sort of B-movie you could easily blow through in less than 90, and I feel like you could have trimmed some of the smaller subplots to make this tighter and leaner. It’s also maybe a bit uneasy with some of its stereotypes – the Russian mad scientist, the religious zealot and some more besides. I also can’t comment on how accurate its depiction of the gay club and bar scene in New York is, but one or two of those moments didn’t sit quite right.

But if you can leave those things aside, Killer Condom is probably one of the better Troma offerings I’ve seen – there is an art to the B-movie for sure, and this one nails an awful lot of it. It’s a fine starting point for Tro-march – and next week we’ll be coming to take a look at a similarly fabulously titled film in Rabid Grannies.

RATING: 8/10. This one is a fun little poke at the hardened cop movie, throwing in an element so ridiculous and unbelievable as to be naturally comic. The performances are generally pretty strong, and for all its taking the Michael it feels to me like this movie has a good heart. Silly in droves, but it’s energetic and entertaining and there are plenty of b-movies much worse out there. This one gets a snappy 8/10 from me.

Blimey, 2020? It's really rare that we get much chance to look at anything quite this recent at Film Gutter. Every single year when I do my Top 10 or Top 5 I have to remind everyone that it's for movies reviewed in the last 12 months, not released in the last year. I suppose even now this one would be too late for a 2021 top list, but it's nice to have the luxury of not delving back into the 2000s or earlier for a movie. And today's offering is Uncle Peckerhead, one of those movies that I came to knowing absolutely zilch about. It just looked interesting and fun when it popped up on Sky Cinema, and about in the Film Gutter ball park, so I stuck it on for a watch. And honestly, I'm pleased I did, because this one was pretty damn entertaining.

Uncle Peckerhead followed bandmates Judy, Max and Mel, who comprise the punk band Duh!, and they're desperately looking for a break. They finally get the chance to go on a mini-tour around their neck of the country, but sadly they don't have the money or the transport to do it. But in their search for a van to take on the road, they meet Peckerhead, a curious, enigmatic older gentleman who lives in his van and is more than pleased to take Duh! on their travels in search of fame and fortune. All sounds dandy so far, right? There is one slight catch – each night at midnight Peckerhead turns into a devouring, flesh-eating demon with an insatiable appetite. Granted, the phase only last for an unlucky thirteen minutes, but that's long enough for plenty of carnage. And of course, this does prove something of a problem for the band...

This one immediately wears its 80s influences on its sleeve, and the whole film is something of a throwback to that time – but certainly a fun one. The personalities of all the main characters were likeable, and their banter and back and forth was always pretty funny. The effects for when Peckerhead turns looked decent, and when we do see it there's enough blood to keep the gorehounds on board without being the most OTT I've ever seen. Strangely this is really quite a sweet story a lot of the way, with the band trying to help Peckerhead, who by day genuinely comes across as pleasant and supportive of the endeavours of the group, who all turn out to be his friends as the story wears on. It wouldn't be the most cutting or extreme movie we've ever looked at, but it does have this out-there feel and calls back to plenty of horror classic with its look and feel.

I'm no expert on punk – honestly metal has always been my scene – but the band sounds pretty good and it was nice to see them sort of winning the day in the end, as bittersweet as it ultimately was. They also have a rival band who sound horribly emo – though I might have my music terminology off – and their performance was a comedy highlight in here.

Ultimately everything about Uncle Peckerhead felt satisfying. The plot was really solid, the performances were effective and the comedy worked well, which is not always an easy thing to do in a movie like this which blends several elements. It's not an absolute revelation, but as an unusual and sometimes gory slice of quirky horror-comedy it hit all the right beats. I couldn't honestly find any great amount to quibble about without it really hitting the absolute highest of notes.

RATING: 8/10. It's nice to sit and watch something so new, and while it pays homage to the past it still feels fresh enough. It may not reinvent the wheel or break boundaries but if you are a fan of horror with a slightly lighter tone – while keeping some of those extravagant bloody flourishes – you ought to have a good time with Uncle Peckerhead. It might not be one that will stick with your forever, but it's a plenty fun way to while away an hour and half or so, and for that reason I'm giving this one an 8/10.

For all the movies from Japan we've been lucky enough to highlight here at Film Gutter, it's actually surprisingly rare that we've ever headed to the nearby shores of South Korea. In fact I think our only viewings from this country have been short films, but today's movie might do something to rectify that. We're bringing the focus now to The Butcher, an extreme horror offering that has a plenty nasty enough reputation to live up to. But will it justify the fuss that has come with it?

The movie itself follows two groups – a husband and wife couple unfortunately captured by three people looking to make a snuff movie, and the trio who have captured them in order to make their on-demand 'film' at the behest of a director who calls a number of times. The whole thing itself is about as grim and grimy as you could imagine, with the action being shot either on a handheld camera by the captors or cameras attached to helmets placed on the victims. I will certainly say the second is a nice touch of originality, and something I've not seen before, so I do give some props for that.

However that does mean the whole premise of the movie is a real double-edged sword – the production style and design makes it feel almost legitimately like the production of a snuff movie, probably closer than anything barring American Guinea Pig: Bouquet of Guts and Gore. The way the movie is shot does give it a certain sort of authenticity, but with the camera jolting and juddering around all the time it gave me a headache even at its short runtime. It also gives the whole thing a sense of absolute chaos, which is probably what the director was intending, but it is genuinely difficult to tell what's going on numerous times throughout. There's nobody to really care for or care about – the character development is far too rough and ready for that, and even the husband (as the person we come to follow in the main) feels fairly irredeemable by the end of it all. It's maybe a deliberate creative risk to play with that good guy/bad guy standard, but it doesn't land here.

There are some genuinely nasty moments – especially when the pig-masked third character enters the fray – but the first half hour or so doesn't really kick into any sort of full gear, which given the short runtime feels a bit egregious. Surely we could have got the ball rolling a bit sooner here, or maybe even cut the runtime? Even at 75 minutes it feels a little overlong for what it is, and I wonder if some of it was improvised because it meanders plenty. I think ultimately this was just too chaotic and too confusing to really get that much out of, and I couldn't really connect with any of the characters to hate them or feel sympathy for them, which severely hampered any emotional impact it was trying to have. If you are really into down and dirty, noisy and in your face horror this could be up your street, but this one didn't really cut it for me.


RATING: 5/10. I don't want to go too hard on this one, because I can respect and indeed understand what it is that the director was angling for here. There were little flourishes I liked along the way, but overall the unsteady camera made me feel a little nauseous and rendered a lot of the action really hard to comprehend. The acting wasn't bad – everyone who was captured certainly seemed to be plenty distressed throughout! – but I do feel like the people involved were maybe let down by the script and the overarching story here. This appears to be about the only work by this director, which is kind of a shame, because while this wasn't a slam dunk there were some flourishes here that suggested there could have been better going forward. For all the reservations I had, I do feel like other viewers might get more out of this one than I did, so I'll grade this one a down the middle 5/10.

It’s time for a deep delve into the VHS archive here, and a look back at a late 80s movie that took its cues from various other places – yes, it’s time for a look at The Rejuvenator. This one is not terribly well known, and has a little of the look and feel of something like Reanimator. But does this one live up to that standard? Well, let’s look a little deeper…

The Rejuvenator follows the story of scientist Dr Gregory Ashton, who is working on an exprimental serum to extend people’s lives, a sort of fountain of youth. They’re currently at the animal experimentation phase, and all seems to be going reasonably well. His main benefactor is aging actress Elizabeth Warren, who is funding his efforts in the desperate hope of getting back to her heyday and resurrect the acting career that made her so rich and famous. Early on in the movie, she delivers a stern ultimatum – either inject her with the serum as a live subject or she will withdraw her funding. Dr Gregory is unwilling, but decides that it’s all he can do to keep his project alive – and in fact the first injection of the serum seems to go incredibly well, with Elizabeth reverting back to her younger self and even a little splash of romance between our two leads (with classic 80s music to boot). But sadly the effect of the serum fades away all too quickly, and Elizabeth quickly devolves into a terrible monster. And with the constant risk of his test subject turning into a hideous creature, Gregory becomes ever more desperate to find more and more serum. But there is one running problem – the raw ingredient for the serum can only be found in human brain matter, and as Elizabeth needs more and more with her tolerance growing all the time, Gregory starts to resort to desperate measures…

The Rejuvenator absolutely screams late 80s in every frame, which I don’t really mind that much, and there are certainly things to like here. The acting performances are generally solid – if nothing particularly special – and the actual core concept is a fairly interesting one that has been explored many times in horror film before and since. And this is a reasonable exploration of the ideas of science going too far, and playing god, and what risks are you willing to take to advance the human species. The effects actually look reasonably decent – maybe apart from one or two little moments towards the end of the movie – and I think that most horror viewers would find this one perfectly likeable. I’ve seen better, no doubt, but it kept my attention and entertained me fine, so you can’t ask too much more than that.

There are some drawbacks, with all that said – one or two moments do lapse into cliché, especially with Gregory’s superior sniffing round his suspicious work that so many 80s movie villains liked to do. The assistant role is rather underplayed, and felt like a character you could certainly have done more with, and the same would go for Elizabeth’s butler Wilhelm. But on the whole it’s a nice neat and tidy horror movie that’s unlikely to rock your world but leave you reasonably satisfied by the same token.

RATING: 6/10. This one was fun enough in that distinctly late 80s way, doing many of the things that were pretty emblematic of horror in that time. It’s a decent example all told, and you will no doubt have seen plenty worse, especially if you’re a hardened fan of the genre. The story is solid and makes sense throughout, and has a strong concept at the heart of it that is explored well enough. There’s nothing really wrong anywhere with it – everything ranges from being OK to fairly good without any elements really verging into the great or excellent. I wouldn’t go out of my way to check it out, but this one certainly won’t ruin your evening if you decide to give it a watch. It may not be one to rejuvenate you, but it certainly won’t do you any harm to check this out either. 6/10 for this one all told.

Just to clarify – I am aware there is also a twelve minute version of this movie. This thirty minute version is from the Unearthed Films Vimeo page, where you can watch for free if you want to check it out after the review!

There’s something exciting – and perhaps a little daunting – about coming to a Film Gutter movie knowing nothing about it. It could be artsy, it could be an over-the-top b-movie, it could be an absolutely outrageous gorefest. And then again it could be something like Gerorisuto and fall dead centre in the ‘what the hell did I just watch’ camp. This one comes to us from acclaimed director Shinzo Fukui, probably best known for his neo-cyberpunk double-header of 946 Pinocchio and Rubber’s Lover. Of course, now I’ve conjured up those names I suppose I have to add those to the to be reviewed list. If you know anything about those films you’ll know Fukui is a pretty niche, cult sort of director, and this early short film pretty much shows all those traits. Admittedly he’s been rather quiet in more recent years, but this handful of movies alone cements him a special place in the hearts of many viewers.

So, what of Gerorisuto? The story itself – slim through it might be – follows a young, unnamed female protagonist who roams the streets of an unnamed Japanese city. She appears to be terrified of the camera throughout, which could taken effectively one of two ways – some have speculated that this is some kind of stalker following her, while it’s also conjectured that this might be some sort of supernatural force than only she can see and no-one around her is aware of. She plays up the fear and the terror of it quite well, but ultimately it explains very little and remains pretty hard to get to the bottom of. There are a few scenes on the underground, and some clips of our female lead accosting men on the streets – maybe actors, maybe real people – which make up around half of the running time. There are two other scenes that make up the movie – one with our lead buying some ice cream before spitting it out pretty grossly, and a second more infamous scene of her throwing up for about ten minutes. I gather in the 12 minute version this one lasts a few minutes – which is a quarter of even that runtime – but this one it takes up a third of the length, which is rather too much. Of course it’s hard to find any viewing pleasure in this scene – in fact it’s unsurprisingly hard to stomach, and brought me back to bad memories of the Vomit Gore Trilogy. *Shudder*

I’m not somebody who’s averse to movies being obtuse, or difficult, or requiring a fair wedge of interpretation. But for me there’s just not enough to latch onto here to really follow anything or to genuinely latch on emotionally to the singular main character. It just feels a bit too ‘art for art’s sake’ in this case. I’d also flag – and it might have been a computer glitch at my end – that the soundtrack seemed a bit out of sync, and went quite towards the finale, which did make it a little bit harder to connect with too. If you’re an absolutely completist of Japanese cult cinema, or a big fan of Fukui’s other work, you might find something to like here. Otherwise I think you can find better, even at this limited length.

RATING: 3/10. I couldn’t call this one complete bottom of the barrel, but it does have all the hallmarks of a director’s very early work and lacks the refinement that went towards Fukui’s work being so popular in later years. The idea is one that could have worked, but it just sort of meanders and goes nowhere ultimately, and is definitely held back by an egregiously long vomiting scene that doesn’t add anything. If you want to check it out, as I say, you can swing by the Unearthed Films Vimeo page and see it for free – as well as having plenty of other movies you can rent or buy.


By Alex Davis 

5) Sex Galaxy
This one was sold by the director as a ‘green film’ – that is, it’s made from entirely recycled footage dubbed over with a new soundtrack. Very environmentally friendly of him. And the end results is absolutely hilarious, with a background of campy 50s SF overlaid with a story of space explorers desperately seeking out sex after the act has been banned on Earth due to overpopulation. It actually has a surprisingly sweet finale, but other than that is just hilarious in a low-brow way. Half the lines feel improvised, which they may or may not be, but that sense only adds to the hilarity. Don’t expect your intellect to be challenged, but you might well chuckle a number of times to yourself.

4) Postal
Sometimes I feel like Uwe Boll just doesn’t get enough love – sure, he has made some less than stellar movies, but a lot of the back catalogue is average or above in my opinion. Movies like Stoic and Seed hold up well, and honestly I feel like outside of the video game movies Boll has a fair back catalogue. With all that said, Postal was (loosely) based on a controversial video game, and the movie is up there with it in terms of questionable taste. If you’re easily offended I would honestly suggest sitting this one out, but if you love humour that really pushes the boundaries I think you are bound to get something out of Postal.

3) The Human Centipede: Final Sequence
Let’s be honest, the first part of this series offered pretty much zero laughs, and the middle instalment even less than that. Can a movie offer minus laughs? Like actually take away laughs from other things? If so, the second Human Centipede movie was probably the one that did. But the third did something distinctly different again, serving up an absolutely outrageous, overblown black comedy with Dieter Laser inspired as the screaming Bill Boss. Plenty of it was gross, but it was a suitably wry and self-referential conclusion to the infamous trilogy. Lots of fun for those whose sense of humour is the darkest of the dark.

2) Marquis
This one was a revelation upon discovery, and headed up my top 5 movies of this year with its surreal mix of puppetry and ribaldry following the imprisonment of the Marquis De Sade and the cast of jailors, priests and prisoners around him. It’s a surreal experience for sure, and there are any number of laughs that come from its more obscene elements – it might just have my favourite comedy line of all time in it. You’ll probably know within ten minutes if it’s going to be your cup of tea, but this just hit the right part of the funny bone for me.

1) Pervert!
Some of the team from this also worked on Sex Galaxy, which got a very favourable mention above, and it shows in the similar sense of humour the two share. This one is an absolutely in your face, unapologetic homage of Russ Meyer’s movies, following a young man who moves into his father’s house only for his penis to go on a killing spree after a voodoo curse. It sounds bonkers, and it is bonkers, a sort of throwback to a very different time of filmmaking. It’s also an absolute stitch in its own low-brow manner, and goes on the top of the list as the movie that made me laugh the very most in the whole of the Film Gutter experience so far.

That wraps up January’s top 5 month – we’ll be back to our regular programming for February!

Top 5 worst movies… should that be bottom 5? Maybe? Anyway, I promised you a month of top 5s, so that’s what I’m going to run with for now. Honestly I’ve never been one to take much pleasure in giving out negative reviews. It takes a hell of a lot of hard work to make a movie, and it’s brave for anyone to put themselves out there and bring their vision to life. But the whole GNOH site – myself included – prides itself in being independent and being honest about what it says. And of course you may look at some of the films below and think these are actually OK, or good, or great – and that’s the very nature of reviewing, which is all a game of opinions. So in that spirit here are the five movies I’ve given the lowest rating over the 5+ years of Film Gutter…
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Any cult horror historian could probably tell you much about the works of one Nick Philips, aka Nick Millard, who produced a strong of zero budget movies in the 1980s. Prior to that he’d made plenty of sex films, and also dabbled in the action genre, but he’s best remembered for his horror – honestly I’d like to forget them, but sadly I can’t. I really can’t. Doctor Bloodbath is made cheap and looks cheap, a tawdry tale of a doctor who kills woman after they’ve had abortions with an unfortunately predictable plot. Featuring the same cast as many of Philips’ offerings, sadly the acting is awful here and doesn’t improve elsewhere in his back catalogue.
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The first movie I reviewed to achieve a zero mark, this one aims for shocking but sadly comes off more as an awful PSA. There’s nothing persuasive in any of the performances, the characters are laughably stereotypical and the whole things just misses the mark of ever feeling real – and therefore just has no impact. Megan is Missing was ultimately making the same point – teenagers, don’t trust strangers! – but that actually had a reasonable plot, some good acting, a character you could care about and an ending that leaves you feeling totally hollowed out. Remove all those things and you might have some idea of what Chaos is all about.

Next week I’ll be looking to lighten the tone with a look at the top 5 funniest Film Gutter Movies!

Two South Korean short films in a row? Well, whyever not? I’ve never been averse to a short offering, and this remains one of my favourites by any measure. It’s a startling look at fashion trends and the sense of the ‘other’, all with an absolutely gloriously creepy look and feel to it. Well worth ten minutes of anyone’s time, and you can watch it free via the Alter channel on Youtube if you fancy going and watching it for yourself.
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Probably one of the most egregious gaps in my extreme/cult horror education up until very recently, I could barely believe my eyeballs when I was watching this one. An absolute audio-visual feast, a black and white nightmare to match the likes of Eraserhead and the second Human Centipede movie but unique in its own right. The effects still look pretty remarkable now even so far on from its release, and this story of humanity and machine combining is definitely worth your time. I’ve added the sequels to the review list for some point this year too…

Next week we’re going to be dredging the bottom of the barrel for the Top 5 worst Film Gutter movies.

All through January we’re doing to be going countdown crazy here at Film Gutter, serving up a series of top 5 lists to kick off 2021! And with this being the time of year for fresh starts and exciting new endeavours, I though that this one would be a suitable place to kick off…
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SUICIDE CLUB
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Again, another film that I really liked – so given that fact you might ask why on earth I’d ever pitch for a remake? Well, to many people this film is not all that well known, and when I think back to this I always feel the one bit that was maybe a bit undercooked was the computer/internet element. Well this is 2021 baby, and half the time it feels like we’re living in a science-fiction film because we have so much incredible technology around us. You could tell a story that remained faithful to the original but incorporated the latest developments to give it a fresh feel and style. As long as you do recreate shot for shot that perfect opening sequence, of course…

We’ll be back next week with a look at the Top 5 Asian Movies we’ve reviewed at Film Gutter!