AMERICAN RESCUE SQUAD - FILM REVIEW

PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE HAS JUST DROPPED DOWN A NOTCH.

American Rescue Squad needs an American Rescue Squad.

American Rescue Squad starts off with a lengthy semi-animated history lesson about American Independence. Tedious crap.

Then it attempts to be a superhero musical comedy.

‘The Taxpayer’ has been kidnapped and will be executed; he’s a low-rent ‘superhero’ with a ridiculously and quite deliberately poor costume.

‘Common Sense’ and ‘Personal Responsibility’ are superheroes who are sent to rescue ‘The Taxpayer’.

10 minutes in and it’s so far beyond dreadful that I want release from this sad effort and am looking toward the bathroom as I know I have some razor blades in there. This film is trying to be oh-so-funny and is missing EVERY mark by an incredible margin.

I’m a film sponge. I’ll watch most things, even the dreadful stuff, and find redeeming qualities in a lot of it.

American Rescue Squad has defeated me.

Have you ever seen a movie so self-conscious that you just know it was put together by a bunch of friends who find one-another funny in spite of the fact that nobody else does? If you haven’t…

NO… I can’t do it. I can’t say “If you haven’t… watch this one”

Yes folks, it’s THAT bad. If it was at all possible to totally redact a film, this is the one to do it with, hell; this is the one to practice doing it with just in case you pull it off.

At the 37 minute stage I was so absolutely… Y’know, I don’t really know what I absolutely was. Sure I was bored; I was almost as tired as the political ‘humour’ this whole piece of excrement appeared to be about. I was perplexed, wondering how anyone could find this even remotely funny with the strained racism, sexism, political sniping and attempts at funny musical pieces littering up this waste of footage. I was annoyed at the loss of just over 37 minutes of my life. I was pleased that I gave up watching this complete dog’s breakfast of a film. I was sad because I’m not usually a quitter, but another hour of this would have been too much to ask of anyone.

If you want some non-pc pro-USA fun you should rent TEAM AMERICA, it does with puppets what American Rescue Squad fails to do with humans as it is better scripted, better acted and funnier.

There are no pictures with this review, no mention of the actors or the director or the studio.

THEY DON’T DESERVE THE PUBLICITY.

To add insult to injury this was the first ‘screener’ I saw with a huge watermark on it which hung about like a bad smell throughout the portion of film I bothered to watch. Putting a watermark on this film is akin to sealing dog-diarrhoea in Fort Knox, it may be well protected, but who the fuck would want to steal it? It comes to something when the copyright protection is a funnier concept than the film it so intrusively covers.

JOE YOUNG

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