HAWK AND REV VAMPIRE SLAYERS - FILM REVIEW

The criticisms of this are apparent and can’t be denied but for me embracing  the dumb absurdity became something endearing. Was there a recurring “secret stake” joke that goes more times than it should? Definitely. But maybe 2020 has driven me to a point that I am grasping at anything for a form of escape. For that Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers did the job exceptionally.

Writer/Director: Ryan Barton-Grimley
Starring: Ryan Barton-Grimley, Ari Schneider, Jana Savage

In order to give what we believe to be a more unbiased constructive criticism of the piece, the members of Bloodhound Pix are tackling each review as a panel of three. None of the members know the others’ thoughts on the content until after they submit their initial response.

Philip "HAWK" Hawkins doesn't just dream about killing vampires - He eats, sleeps, drinks and freakin' breaths it. After getting kicked out of the Army for staking a fellow soldier with a blunt two by four, Hawk almost dies of boredom working as a night security guard in his hometown of Santa Muerte, California - USA. Just when it looks like all Hawk's options in life have expired, filthy blood-sucking vampires appear and of course - Nobody freakin' believes him. With his back up against the wall, his sweaty Karate Kid headband on and hordes of murderous vampires closing in, Hawk enlists the help of the one person who kind of believes him - Revson "REV" McCabe, a dimwitted, vegan-pacifist groundskeeper. Together they join forces to save the whole entire freakin' world. Well, at least their hometown anyway.

Initial Reaction

K.  This was a lot more fun than I expected it to be.  Hawk and Rev are an odd couple who end up in over their heads battling vampires in their town of Santa Muerte, California.  Hawk is a night security guard and middle aged ‘failure to launch’ man child.  Rev is a vegan pacifist, tai chi enthusiast.  One night Hawk spots some vampires, or at least he thinks they’re vampires, and the inept duo sets out to do them in.  The film knows exactly what it is, a no/low budget horror comedy, emphasis on the comedy, and it delivers.  For the most part.  There are jokes and improv that doesn’t always land but mostly it’s a silly fun vampire adventure.  Obviously, the vampire action is limited but they manage to do a really solid job with the effects and there is a particular dismemberment scene at the climax which is genuinely hilarious.  There are certain flaws I could point out, the script could be tighter and some of the jokes could be more honed/polished but overall the film’s good humor and charm won me over and I enjoyed it.  So I can’t complain too much.  It’s a perfect flick to put on with some friends and some beers and just have a good time.


C. I’d love to be a PA during this production, because the cast and crew’s passion seeps from every scene. This is a project made from love and to entertain… even if it’s just themselves.


Hawk and Rev is one of those movies that knows exactly what it is and they play into completely. No budget? Calling in favors from friends? Lack of resources? “Perfect, let’s embrace it!” It’s done in such a way that feels like a live action Adult Swim series (Children’s Hospital, Eagleheart, etc.), which with what’s going on in the world was a perfect refreshment for all this “serious” horror we’ve been viewing as a group lately. I will say in connection with the Adult Swim comment, it probably would’ve worked better as those 15 minute episodes instead of a feature because there’s a lot of repetition. However, the way they tackled this project seems difficult to criticize any issues in regards to acting, the script, editing, whatever. It’s dumb fun to the extreme and though it took me a little bit to get in, once I was, I was completely there for the ride.


Funny enough I don’t have much to say. One. There isn’t a lot of the movie to actually talk about. Two. It’s something that just needs to be seen for those that enjoy that brand of humor that I mentioned prior. While I don’t encourage this for everyone, it is a movie you’d watch late at night, with friends and alcohol. I viewed it midday and was completely sober and I still found it fun but I feel a group dynamic would really make even the groan-worthy jokes become that much sillier. In the last couple years there’s been so many projects that are “throwback” stories and oddly this takes it to such a dumb extreme that it feels like a satire not only on those 80s flicks but spoofing the current movies/shows that base their whole marketing off of that nostalgia.


I’d definitely watch it again but I have the worry this may be one of those microbudget festival movies that does its rounds and then disappears without any form of release.


J. The saving grace of this film was the two lead actors.  They portray their hapless dipshit characters well and had terrific chemistry.  Otherwise, this 80 minute film felt like 180 minutes because of how repetitive things got and the near zero action.  There’s wall-to-wall dialogue and a lot of it works and is funny but you can only go that route so long.  A vampire comedy film that works really well for me is Bloodsucking Bastards and this film has a very similar approach but the non-existent budget I think, is a big problem.  30 minutes would have played much better than 80.  There’s not-so-subtle digs at From Dusk Till Dawn that seemed awkward and unnecessary, especially bitching about Tarantino’s acting, which to me is low hanging fruit.  These “jokes” are numerous too for some reason.  The dialogue is reference heavy, which does work well and I did love how the Hawk character seems to love The Lost Boys as much as I do. There's also a Cobra reference so that alone moves this one up a notch or 2.  In terms of the script, there’s a red herring that doesn’t work at all but it’s not terribly important because of how thin everything about the “story” is anyway.  Hawk and Rev is a valiant effort but it should be shorter and it would’ve been more effective.

​Response

C. The criticisms of this are apparent and can’t be denied but for me embracing  the dumb absurdity became something endearing. Was there a recurring “secret stake” joke that goes more times than it should? Definitely. But maybe 2020 has driven me to a point that I am grasping at anything for a form of escape. For that Hawk and Rev: Vampire Slayers did the job exceptionally.


J. I think we’ve covered the bases as far as what you’re in for with this and what to expect.  It’s low on action, high on dialogue and dipshitery.  Enjoy!


K.  It’s a silly, don’t overthink it, kind of movie.  And a lot of fun at that.  Is it repetitive and not always as funny as it thinks it is?  Yes.  But it doesn’t take itself too seriously and it knows what it is.  A no budget vampire comedy.

Bloodhound’s average score: 3 out of 5

Bloodhound Pix is made up of: Craig Draheim, Josh Lee,
​and Kyle Hintz

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