HORROR MOVIE REVIEW: CHRISTMAS BLOODY CHRISTMAS

Joe Begos' Christmas Bloody Christmas, much like Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and Wine, is a brutal and bloody assault on the senses.

Christmas Bloody Christmas 

It's Christmas Eve and fiery record store owner Tori Tooms just wants to get drunk and party, until the robotic Santa Claus at a nearby toy store goes haywire and makes her night more than a little complicated. Santa embarks on a rampant killing spree through the neon-drenched snowscape, ultimately forcing Tori into a blood-splattered battle for survival.

Release date: 9 December 2022
Director: Joe Begos

​A Horror Movie Review by Jim Mcleod 

There are loads of Santa as the villain horror movies out there, but none of them has quite the same degree of over-the-top, sensational sense of fun as Christmas Bloody Christmas. Joe Begos, director of the amazing VFW and Bliss, returns with a glorious Christmas-themed horror movie that proves that Christmas is not the holiday it is cracked up to be. Where VFW was an excellent love letter to John Carpenter movies, especially Assault on Precinct 13, Christmas Bloody Christmas is, in this humble reviewer's opinion, a love letter to Terminator. Both films feature a near-unkillable cybernetic killing machine, and both films feature a kick-ass leading lady, as well as inept cops who just won't listen to our heroine. As with VFW, Begos infuses Christmas Bloody Christmas with enough fresh ideas and a clear sense of directorial flair to ensure that the film never feels like a cheap rip-off of the Terminator for one minute.  


Shot on 16MM film, Begos cleverly gives the film that grainy feel that we expect from a movie from the 70s / 80s; combined with the inspired use of opening the film with a couple of "fake" adverts that scream of 80s consumerism, you know from the first few minutes that you are in for a fun time with Christmas Bloody Christmas.


The plot of the film is simple, a bunch of military robots have been recommissioned as Mall Santas, but as is want to happen in these sorts of movies, our fat, friendly Father Christmas, for no apparent reason, decides to default to factory settings and turn into a homicidal manic hell-bent on killing our heroine and all who dare to stand in her way.  


Some of you might be screaming, but why does Santa do that? What's the reason for his change in programming? That's stupid but stick with it as it fits perfectly with the narrative when taken in the context of the whole film. Begos leans right into the absurdity of this. With a total disregard for physics, electrical engineering and, at times, the laws of nature, this is one of many reasons why this horror movie is so much fun. Hell, even though the robot's wiring is composed of neon light-up wires, there is no logical sense why the internal workings of the killer robot would light up, but it just works. I had a massive smile when the robot's insides were first revealed. For those familiar with the director's previous films, you will bask at his masterful use of colour grading and his distinctive use of garish colour choices in the movie.  


As for the plot, it is relatively simple; a store has one of the recommissioned Santa it goes crazy and, for some unknown reason, becomes fixated on killing our heroine, Tori (Riley Dandy) and her co-worker who has the hots for her, Robbie, will they survive, but more importantly will Tori and Robbie hook up, or will Tori finally make it to her blind date, with a bloke who everyone else thinks is a douchebag. 


In terms of how Christmas Bloody Christmas feels, its sensibilities are cemented in '70s exploitation B-cinema; from the grainy feel of the movie to the physical special effects and the glorious over-the-top use of blood whenever anyone gets stabbed, stomped on or shot, Begos never shies away from giving us the film that fans of these sort of movies want. In particular, a glorious head-stomping scene will make even the most hardcore horror fans wince in pain.  


But this is Tori's story, played by Riley Dandy, who lights up the screen for every frame of this film with a dazzling and triumphant performance that surely must be ranked up there along with the all-time best Scream Queens and final girls. Riley's infectious, hypnotic performance is utterly enthralling; you can feel the energy of her character buzzing across the screen, to the point where you want to crawl into the Tv screen just on the off chance that you can spend a few minutes in her company. But props must also be given to Sam Delich, who plays her workmate Robbie, who is clearly desperate to hook up with her. He has the same manic intensity as Riley, and the pair of them play off each other spectacularly, endowing the film with a well needed heart that is often missing from modern horror films.  


I loved the will they, won't they dynamics of their relationships, we the viewer know they are a perfect match, and you will be screaming just bloody snog him, woman, you know you want to. Do they end up together? Well, that will be telling.  


The first half of the movie, before psycho Santa goes on the rampage, is a wonderful character study on human attraction; the interplay between Tori and Robbie is fantastic; imagine a more sweary, drunk and doped-up version of Dante and Randal from Clerks, with them arguing about everything from horror movies music and whether on not Tor's potential suitor is a total douche.


Christmas Bloody Christmas also totally delivers on the horror front; once the killing starts, Begos ensures that the die-hard slasher fans are not left wanting; with some brilliant kills and a tremendous sense of fun, you know that you are having as great a time watching the film as Begos had making it. With movies like the latest Halloween films eschewing the heart that made their previous instalments so much fun to deliver just a vehicle for the kills, it was a breath of fresh air to watch a film that understands that a slasher horror movie needs to be more than just a basic framework for the next kill.  


Joe Begos' Christmas Bloody Christmas, much like Cliff Richard's Mistletoe and Wine, is a brutal and bloody assault on the senses. If you only watch one Christmas themed horror movie, it better be this one. You wouldn't want to get a visit from psycho robosanta, do you?  

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