MUCK

MUCK (USA) 

​Director - Steve Wolsh 

starring - Lachlan Buchanan,  Puja Mohindra,  Bryce Draper

I get that horror is supposed to mack you feel uneasy, I get the it is supposed to shock, and I even understand that it is supposed to push the boundaries.  So it is such a pity that all of those involved with woefully terrible film don't understand the difference between being shocking and pushing the boundaries, and just plain old abyssal film making.  

Muck must rank as not only one of the worst horror films of all time, but as one of the worst examples of filmmaking in itself.  There is not a single aspect of this film that warrants any sort of praise.  Read on to find why this film made me angrier than Scotsman the day before payday 

Let's start of by talking about the actual structure of the film , acting, dialogue, and direction before we even talk about the story itself.  

I don't know where Wolsh studied filmmaking, but if he paid anyone during his time there I would be asking for his money back.  Wolsh lacks even the basic knowledge of how to make a film.  Muck is poorly framed, contains a fractured narrative that sums around more than a cat on hot tin roof covered in broken glass and Acme powered springs.  It actually feels is if he got drunk one night and decided to cut the film strips up and glue them back in a totally random order.  either that or my copy skips more than those girls in that Malcolm McLaren song Double Dutch.  The structure of this film is so disjointed I had no idea as to where when or why any of the characters were at any point of the film.  

I haven't bothered checking IMDB to see if any of he actors in this film ave acted in anything else, asI would be surprised if a single one of them could be classed as an actor.  Dead eyes lifeless performances that you only normally see in a comedy sketch that pokes fun at bad acting seems to be the theme of the only acting class that they went to.  At various points in the film you can actually see the actors thinking to themselves what am I supposed to say next.  And I sure one of them was thinking "I wonder what I am having for tea tonight"  

The dialogue, oh the dialogue, In a world that birthed the likes of Miller, and Shakespeare it is galling to think that we have reduced the English language to such depths of banality.   i have heard better dialogue from two drunk tramps. 

Steve Wolsh wore at least two hats on this film as the writer and director, and to be honest I think he was stretched a little thin, and by stretched a little thin, i really mean you could see right through him.  I seriously doubt he was up to being capable of doing one of the these jobs let alone a both.  The direction is totally directionless, there is scene when one of the characters phones another one, and the actor receiving the call just stops reacting to the phone call, you can see his eyes darting about looking for a cue from the wings.  Which never comes, as he stutter paralysed with rabbits eyes in the spotlight's glare.  People laugh at the mess that was Plan 9 but at least that film was a laugh, Muck is just an offensive depressing mess. 

All of the above could be forgiven if there was a decent story behind it, and you guessed it there isn't one.  The basic cliched premise of a bunch of good looking obnoxious American boys and girls getting ripped apart from some mutant Hillbilly locals has been done a gazillion times before with far better results.  There is zero character development, characters that are so interchangeable that they really should be wearing name tags just so you can have a slight chance of remembering who was who.   Not that you would really care as they are so annoying and crass that you end up being on the side go the inbred locals.  

But where the film really  makes my blood boil is in  the way it portrays the females in it.  Now don't get me wrong I like to look a women I enjoy the female form a great deal, but what I don't enjoy is a film that seems as though the only reason it was made was so a lecherous, degenerate, crude director could get his rocks off.  With pointless lingering shots of the female cast showering, swapping clothes, constant close ups of their cleavages, and other female curvy places just makes you feel like a dirty old man.  They serve zero purpose in the film other than being deeply inappropriate.  

It is films like this that stop horror from being considered as a valid art form.  Sadly I get the feeling that the immature director will see this as a badge of honour.  Do yourself a favour and don't ever think about watching this total disaster of a film