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Panic attacks. If you’ve never had one, it’s hard to imagine how utterly terrifying they are. The racing heartbeat. The sense of impending doom. The impression of falling into a black hole. The impulse to just start running, as if pursued by a demon. I experienced my first panic attack during my second year of college. It came out of nowhere while I was trying to fall asleep. Not knowing what was happening, I thought I was going crazy. That autumn, I had begun to feel directionless, unsure of what to do with my life, dissatisfied with school, and increasingly isolated from any social network. It’s not surprising that such feelings would manifest as anxiety. At first, the attacks came at bedtime. But then they started intruding at any hour. The anxiety was not about anything in particular—that’s what made it so baffling. Fortunately, I sought help from a school counselor. She taught me techniques to calm the anxiety and encouraged me to make changes to my situation. I switched majors, moved into a dorm where I knew people, and started attending meetings of the gay and lesbian students club. I learned that people commonly think they are having a heart attack or going mad during an attack. As I took control over my circumstances and made positive changes, the attacks gradually subsided. You never completely conquer them, of course. They are the monster under the bed that, every once in a while, creeps out to haunt you. But now I know how to sap its power. Several conditions fall under the umbrella of anxiety disorders. In addition to Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), there are Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and phobias. My particular situation in college showed up as what psychologists call Panic Disorder. Those bouts came on suddenly and peaked. But several decades later I experienced a constant state of anxiety for weeks on end—not technically GAD, which involves chronic, excessive worry about particular things, but an amorphous sense of panic. It was so relentless that I decided I would need to end my life if there was no relief. Once again, though, I sought help and got it under control. I learned to become aware of what I was feeling and thinking when attacks began, and how to derail the negative thoughts that seemed to precipitate the attacks. The scariest thing about panic attacks is not understanding what they are—and feeling helpless to do anything about them. But we are not helpless. Tools include counseling, medication, relaxation techniques, and behavior modification. The important thing is to seek help, to know that you are not alone and don’t have to suffer in silence. That’s why it’s critical to raise awareness about mental health issues. And that’s why I decided one of my characters in Shockadelica would struggle with anxiety. Drag artist Kendall Akande has experienced a recurring nightmare since he was a toddler. Like many of us who grapple with depression, anxiety, and other demons, he’s a horror fan. Maybe the reason, he says, is that it inoculates him against his fears. Kendall hosts a horror podcast with his best friend Jenna Chen. When they learn that their Victorian-era apartment building might be haunted, they see an opportunity for a podcast episode. But as they investigate further with the help of their quirky neighbors, they uncover something far more sinister, starting with the appearance of a goat-headed man. Kendall’s nightmare morphs into panic attacks. He even begins to suffer night terrors, where the dreamer awakens but is unable to move and senses an oppressive presence in the room. Mysterious incidents and other horrors pile up, eventually causing Kendall to have a revelation. He reinvents himself and takes control over the existential threats facing him and his neighbors. Steel is forged in fire, as they say. That’s one of the messages I hope readers take away from the story—especially those readers who struggle with an anxiety disorder. Weaving together supernatural legends from Ireland, Nigeria, and China, Shockadelica tells a story about fear, prejudice, and overcoming adversity. It’s available from Amazon: https://smarturl.it/0z9792 An album of horror-themed songs by one of the characters known as the Bone Man, whose arms are covered with tattoos of serial killers, complements the novel and can be found at most streaming sites. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) is a nonprofit organization dedicated to increasing awareness and improving the diagnosis, treatment, and cure of anxiety disorders. Its sister organization in the U.K. is Anxiety UK. They provide a number of online resources—a good place to start if you or a loved one might need help. Don’t suffer in silence. Jon O’Bergh is an author and musician who appreciates a good scare. He received a Bachelor of Arts in Music from the University of California at Irvine. A fan of ghost stories and horror movies, O’Bergh came up with the idea for his first novel, The Shatter Point, after watching a documentary about extreme haunts. He has published five books and released over a dozen albums in a variety of styles. His supernatural short stories have appeared in anthologies and magazines. After many years living in San Francisco and Washington, D.C., he now resides with his husband in Toronto. WEBSITE LINKS Author website: https://obergh.net Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/JonOBergh Twitter: @jon_obergh The Bone Man: https://theboneman.hearnow.com Weaving together supernatural legends from Ireland, Nigeria, and China, "Shockadelica" follows two friends who must confront their own fears while fighting an evil, existential threat. With a dash of humor and horror, the story explores prejudice, conspiracy theories, and things that aren't what they appear to be, offering a critical look at the current state of the world. Two horror podcasters―drag artist Kendall Akande and best friend Jenna Chen―share a passion for art, fashion, and horror. When they find out their Victorian-era apartment building might be haunted, they see an opportunity for an entertaining podcast episode. They learn that a past resident, inspired by demonic images of a goat-headed man, lured victims to his apartment and murdered them. While visiting his grave, they are spooked by a man in a goat mask who watches from the bushes. The two friends launch their investigation and get a glimpse into the lives of their unusual neighbors. Rooney Xavier posts fake online testimonials for businesses and starts dating the landlord's son, hoping for perks. Aging fashion diva Morvena Delacroix rages against any noise Rooney makes downstairs. The Nigerian/Irish witch Lilith Adebayo offers interventions to help Kendall with his nightmares. Lucy Lee talks to her vegetables when she cooks and helps Jenna cope with her grandmother's worsening dementia. An intimidating musician named the Bone Man has tattoos of serial killers covering his arms. The dignified Mrs. Gupta, architect Elliott Bernbaum, and a reclusive tenant in the basement round out the cast. As strange sightings and sounds spread, Kendall and Jenna visit the landlord on Ward's Island, but his house of curiosities only deepens the mystery. Then a stranger appears who promises protection if Kendall sacrifices something of value. As the ghosts of the past become entwined with the growing terror, Kendall and Jenna must use their creativity to confront the evil force that threatens them all. An album of horror-themed songs by the Bone Man complements the novel and is available at most streaming sites and online retailers. TODAY ON THE GINGER NUTS OF HORROR WEBSITE BOOK REVIEW: THE DESPICABLE FANTASIES OF QUENTIN SERGENOV BY PRESTON FASSELSOHOME HORROR FEST PRIDE 18TH - 20TH JUNE 2021THE HEART AND SOUL OF HORROR FEATURES From the coded taboo of James Whale to the Babadook vogueing in Pride marches around the world, the horror genre always has been and always will be queer. So to, from its inception in 2018, the Soho Horror Film Festival has held LGBTQ+ visibility, inclusivity and celebration as one of its cornerstones. And now, following from last year’s success, we are delighted to invite you to the 2021 Sohome Horror Fest: Pride Edition. In lieu of many Pride events across the country being postponed, we will once again be broadcasting an onslaught of sickening cinema straight to your homes, for a 3 day celebration of all things Queer Horror. A gala of gayness that will take a chainsaw to heteronormativity and bring you the very best voices in LGBTQ+ filmmaking: featuring 9 fierce features, 22 slaying shorts, and 5 very special events. The festival is bookended in suitably fabulous fashion with today’s answer to Greg Araki and John Waters: opening with the UK Premiere of Gem Deger’s neon-soaked violent fantasia PLAYDURIZM and closing with the kink and kitsch filled wonderland that is Molly Hewitt’s HOLY TRINITY. From the director of The Ruins and S Club 7’s “Reach” video, Carter Smith evolves the seminal classic Hellbent into the 21st century with Blumhouse Televsion’s sexy slasher INTO THE DARK: MIDNIGHT KISS. Bram Stoker’s inherently queer text gets a bi-revitalise in Matheus Marchetti’s THE NUPTIALS OF DRACULA from Brazil; and continuing our love of Argentinean cinema, there’s the simmering psychological thriller THE DOSE. We have brooding and steamy southern Gothic in Richard Griffin’s BEFORE THE NIGHT IS OVER; soul-sucking post-mortem photography in the Mario Bava inspired THE INVISIBLE MOTHER; and every mother’s worst nightmare in Lauren Fash’s incredible THROUGH THE GLASS DARKLY. And joining us for its European Premiere: Shantay, you SLAY as giallo goes rainbow in our drag-tastic centrepiece film DEATH DROP GORGEOUS. You won’t be a size queen when it comes to our sensational short selection; including the World Premiere of 2020 guest of honour Michael Varrati’s new film WHAT’S LEFT INSIDE, the skin crawling ITSY BITSY SPIDER, and ShockdownSaturday award-nominated Kelsey Bollig’s ASKING FOR A FRIEND to name just a few. Providing a platform for some of the more marginalised voices in our community is essential to Soho Horror, which is why we’ll also have a spotlight programme of Trans and Non-Binary shorts to coincide with our “Cis-tem Error: Trans Representation in Horror” Panel. Special events are also galore, including an evening of live music from the composer of Shudder’s Queer Horror documentary, Andrew Scott Bell, a live podcast from intersectional horror icons NIGHTMARE ON FIERCE STREET and the return of Ghouls Magazine for a 25th Anniversary celebration panel of otherness-empowering cult classic THE CRAFT! So get your glitter ready, scream me by your name, and join us this June. Because, we are the queerdo’s, mister. Sohome Horror Fest: Pride Edition is a virtual festival taking place from the 18th-20th June, it is ran on a Pay-What-You-Can price basis, with a recommended donation of £25 to help cover the costs of the festival. In addition, 25% of all donations will be given to Mermaids UK, an organisation that provides support for Trans, Non Binary & Gender diverse youth. TODAY ON THE GINGER NUTS OF HORROR WEBSITE BOOK REVIEW: THE DESPICABLE FANTASIES OF QUENTIN SERGENOV BY PRESTON FASSELTHE HORROR OF HUMANITY: PANIC ATTACKS: THE MONSTER UNDER THE BED BY JON O’BERGHThe Heart and Soul of Horror Websites We are living in a golden age of horror on TV. Shows like ‘The Walking Dead’, ‘Supernatural’ and ‘American Horror Story’ have effectively taken the genre mainstream, offering weekly doses of gore and mayhem to the masses. Go back a decade or two however, and genre fans had far fewer options to choose from. Anthology shows, like ‘Tales From the Crypt’, ‘Monsters’ or ‘Tales From the Darkside’ were king during the horror heyday of the 1980s, providing cheesy and cheerful tongue in cheek horror in half hour bites. It wasn’t until 2005 that the TV horror anthology show got serious, and delivered arguably the most consistent, memorable and scary anthology show to date. The brainchild of horror legend Mick Garris, the show’s title is no hyperbole. ‘Masters of Horror’ brought together the best horror talent Hollywood (and beyond) had to offer. Episodes directed by undisputed genre luminaries such as John Carpenter, Tobe Hooper, Dario Argento and Stuart Gordon were like hour long movies brought to your TV screen. High production values, A-List talent and a free reign to do whatever they pleased resulted in some truly unforgettable work from a group of horror legends let off their leash. These are stories that have stayed with me in the fifteen years since many initially aired and, in this series, I’ll be revisiting all twenty-six episodes, one at a time, to shine a light on a fondly remembered and undeniably influential moment in horror TV history. Join me as I take a look back at; Haeckel’s Tale Directed by: John McNaughton Starring: Derek Cecil, Leela Savasta, Tom McBeath, Jon Polito Original Air Date: 27 January 2006 Synopsis: A young medical student trying to discover ways of bringing the dead back to life encounters a necromancer when travelling home to visit his ailing father. Revisiting the ‘Masters of Horror’: Haeckel’s Tale |
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