HORROR FILM REVIEW: BLOOD CLOTS

BY JOE X YOUNG

​BLOOD CLOTS: A coagulation of horrors

 
From Freedom Cinema comes a collection of seven exceptionally well-made short movies featuring all manner of goodies such as cannibals, zombies, monster jellyfish and a certain Lovecraftian God who apparently calls himself ‘Charlie’ these days.

Anyone who watches horror anthologies will be aware that they are often a mixed-bag with some better than others and varying in production quality. This is almost no exception, because although some stories do fare much better than others, it’s all satisfyingly sleek and well put together.
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It has the sense of humour and high production values of the likes of Creepshow and The Witching Season and manages to do quite a lot with what was probably a meagre budget. It is broken up into segments called ‘Clots’ and unlike Creepshow has no wraparound story linking them, they are standalones and each unique in its delivery.

Clot 1: HELL OF A DAY.
There’s not a lot I can say about this without giving too much away. It’s heavy Zompoc territory here, and there’s an injured woman locking herself in a basement and hoping for the best while the dead are battering their way in. Will she survive? You’re just going to have to watch it to find out. Trust me; you’re going to want to watch it ;)
 
Clot 2: NEVER TEAR US APART:
Two friends head to a dilapidated cabin off the beaten track, but when they get there… Oh dear! This was actually one of the weaker stories, mainly because it’s largely just two guys chatting on the way to a cabin, until things go tits-up, but when that happens it’s powerful stuff which is over much too fast. This was a very short segment which could have benefitted from more of the excellent gory special effects, and perhaps ramping up the fear more instead of plumping for an ending which seemed dissatisfactory in light of what preceded it.
 
Clot 3: BLUE MOON:
Sleazy and inventive this is a tale of ‘dogging’ gone wrong. Well enough acted, nicely scripted and definitely a novelty piece with enough gore to satisfy even the most bloodthirsty palate. There’s also a surfeit of T and A and even some D as well, so if that’s your kind of thing you’re going to love this.
 
Clot 4: TIME TO EAT:
There’s something in the basement. It has huge tentacles. It’s slimy.
There’s a little boy playing with a ball, he drops it, it goes right to the top of the stairs and quick as a flash… Okay, so the ball bounces down. The little boy goes to retrieve it. It doesn’t end well. But hey, the story IS called ‘Time To EAT’ ;)
 
Clot 5: STILL:
This one alone is well worth the price of the film.

Are you sick of Zombie movies and TV series? Really? Room for one more, surely? If you can just squeeze this in you won’t regret it.

STILL is the story of two things we would normally run from, one of which is Zombies, and the other being ‘street performers’.  In this case there’s a street performer who is one of those well-dressed gents in a top hat, he’s painted head to toe in gold and is an expert at keeping still, which is for the best as all around him are either eating or being eaten. Can he keep still, or will he end up on the menu…

This is tense and gory fun, highly recommended.
 
Clot 6: HELLYFISH:

This is daft stuff, played 100% for laughs and hitting every note. If you like the comic mayhem of the Piranha movies and Sharknado films then this is bound to please as Atomic Radiation has mutated Jellyfish into gigantic ravenous monsters which go full-on Jaws at a crowded beach.
As with all of the film shorts it’s beautifully played and the effects are cheesy but superb.
 
Clot 7: THE CALL OF CHARLIE:

The OLD ONE gets a new twist with this tale of a most unusual dinner guest. I’m not into the whole Mythos thing and so I don’t know whether those who are will find this entertaining or insulting, but from the outside looking in it is a solid story with great acting, even if the basic premise does stretch credibility to snapping point.

I liked it, but for me the gem of this collection has to be ‘STILL’.
 
All told this is a fantastic anthology and the kind of thing that’s perfect for a dark night with a bunch of friends, pizza, beverages and popcorn. It’s quite easily the most entertaining thing I’ve seen in weeks.

Available now on Amazon and VOD, though once you stream it you’re probably going to want to own it ;)

ALICE COOPER IN SUMMERLAND: ​LACE AND WHISKEY BY KIT POWER