HORROR FILM REVIEW: ​SOFT MATTER

by Joe X Young 

“The Shape of Water meets Get Out in the unique Sci-fi Horror Soft Matter,
Premiering on VOD 5/22 from Wild Eye Releasing.”
(That’s their blurb, definitely not mine.)

Whoever decided on the opening title credits for ‘Soft Matter’ needs taking out back and mercilessly beating with a very heavy blunt object until there’s nothing left of them but a sticky smear. My reason? Partly because the text flashes on and off screen, which is great if you want an epileptic fit or the headache to go along with the backing track, but also because it’s the most enjoyable part of the film.

The film itself is absolutely not to be taken seriously; with significant gloop in evidence from the beginning it bears the marks of trashiness very early on. It really doesn’t take long to wonder what the hell will come up next, sentient fish cultures grow into creatures, mutated muck monsters stroll casually around or boogie on down with their bad selves, and there is a ridiculous animated section about a graffiti artist and a tortoise… all in the first 20 minutes.

Maybe, just maybe, you are thinking that this sounds hilarious, and I believe that’s the intention here; however the problem with intentional comedy is that you really have to know what you are doing. This has every indication, to me at least, that the filmmakers are a strange bunch with some reasonably good ideas but nothing which really gels. It is seemingly an attempt at a Troma type film, but far less classy (Yeah, you read me right), not so well thought out and definitely not as well acted. The animation sequences are total bargain basement and do nothing at all for the overall story which is basic at best. I actually feel bad as I am struggling to find something good to say about the film, but ‘Soft Matter’ really is absolutely shit, which is probably why it is called ‘Soft Matter’. There are no breakout actors, no parts which even raised a smile, just what comes across as a worst-case scenario of amateur filmmaking which doesn’t even belong in the ‘so bad it’s good’ category. I think it might get lucky and find a niche audience but I won’t be amongst that even though I usually watch a film more than once before commenting. I could say once was enough, but once was once too often.
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One hour and twelve minutes of totally wasted time.

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