ALICE IN SUMMERLAND: SCHOOL’S OUT FOREVER BY MATTHEW WEBER

9/7/2018

BY MATT WEBER

ALICE COOPER SCHOOLS OUT FOREVER Picture

You know a song has reached near anthemic status when you can identify it by the third note that blasts out your radio. That’s what the title track of Alice Cooper’s School’s Out album brought to the world in 1972, like a call to action for every rebellious kid in America. The song is a bold invitation to break the rules, defy norms, and tell the establishment to stick it in their ear. It does this all at the behest of a shout-along chorus that’s got enough attitude to shake a teenager and is just catchy enough to corrupt their younger siblings. From the thundering drums to its rascally nursery rhyme, “School’s Out” has long been been one of my favorite Alice Cooper tunes—as much for its hard-rocking composition as for its winking nod to the anti-authoritarian streak in everybody. While I could write at length on my tendency to crank this tune to the limits of my speakers and leap around the house, throwing karate kicks and air punches, there are eight more tracks on this little opus, so I’ll give them some love too.

But before I touch on the album’s other songs, every listener should take a breather, sit back in the afterglow of “School’s Out,” and open your mind to a different experience than what you might expect in the wake of such a roof-shaking opener. Any true Alice Cooper fan knows the front man is both musician and actor, an all-around showman, and the band stresses their love for theatricality on this album through a variety of moods and musical styles, even giving the ol’ show tune a stab.

The record shifts gears from all the jumping and jamming with a more subdued track two. “Luney Tune” is a bass-heavy number that slinks and slithers along to a rolling drum beat, with Alice snarling a response to the melody before it builds into a gripping mid-song climax that grooves along until the end. I’ve read a couple of reviews that cited this as the best song on the album, but it’s no “School’s Out.”

“Gutter Cat vs. the Jets” is an ambitious effort that begins with a rumbling bass-line and a snotty Alice in full vocal swagger. The first half rocks with lines too irresistible not to sing—“House cat, you really got it made!” But be prepared for the stage play-esque breakdown halfway through, where the band throws you a loop with a high-pitched organ providing the crescendo for a midnight alley fight with rival gang The Jets, straight off a production of West Side Story.

The next cut “Street Fight” is cool the first time around but skippable on repeat listens since it’s basically a minute-long bass run with some city-squalor special effects. It doesn’t have enough scope, distortion or bloodshed for my taste. And there aren’t any lyrics.

“Blue Turk,” on the other hand, is a personal favorite. It’s a jazzy, sultry, smoldering number that showcases the singer in fine form, strutting his stuff at his top hat-wearing, cane-twirling best. Not so much a rocker as it is a sly stalker, “Blue Turk” is bass-centric and brassy, with an airy guitar that peeks around the corner rather than taking center stage. The song is a dark stranger that meets a lady on the street, seduces her with his wily charms, takes her out dancing, then leaves her dead the next morning. That’s what happens when “earthworms rule your brain.”

With its operatic piano intro, the next track, “My Stars,” careens in an entirely different direction. The piano motif frames the song and elevates this stomping rock tune with more emotional heft. It’s an odd marriage, pretty and gritty, but it works.

A title like “Public Animal #9” better come with some dirt and stank on it, and this seventh track doesn’t disappoint, kicking the album firmly back into barroom rock territory. It’s a timely change of pace with a brain-branding chorus, nasty guitar hooks, a pounding beat, and infectious backing vocals that make you wanna holler, “Hey, hey, hey!...”

The last vocal track on the album is “Alma Mater,” and I can picture drummer Neal Smith composing this song with a mile-wide grin, knowing it’s a perfectly wry fit for the band’s schtick. The song lures you into a false sense of security, beginning as a heartfelt ode to days gone by. Alice croons about how he misses his old high school, a sentiment he delivers with all the sincerity of the class clown saying “nice hat” to the nerd wearing a beanie. The band piles on the schmaltz thicker and thicker until they seemingly can’t contain themselves, reminiscing about the time they dropped a snake down schoolmate Betsy’s dress. Then the drums explode, and the music throttles up and fuzzes out as Alice channels Paul McCartney at his most earnest and soulful. It’s a tune you’ll play over and over. I know that I do.

Sticking with the theatrical theme, the final number on the album is strictly instrumental. But in its own right, “Grande Finale” is a pulsing, energetic tune with soaring horns and keyboards, something you’d expect to score an action/drama TV show of the era (think Mannix or Hawaii Five-O). You’ll picture yourself in hot pursuit of criminal perps, swerving down the highway in a high-speed chase, cuffing bad guys and winking at the camera.

To sum it up, this album is just a hell of a lot of fun. The only thing that might make it cooler would be to sell it with a pair of panties.

Wait! Back in the ‘70s, this album was first released with the vinyl record wrapped in paper panties! Hallelujah! As brilliant as it was tasteful, this ingenious marketing gimmick later had to be discontinued because the panties were found to be flammable.

But the legend remains.

Remember the Coop!

Matthew Weber is author of the books TEETH MARKS, A DARK & WINDING ROAD, SEVEN FEET UNDER and THE BULL, and he is editor of the DOUBLE BARREL HORROR anthology series. He also wrote and illustrated the children's book, I WANT TO BE A MONSTER WHEN I GROW UP. He has served as editor-in-chief of EXTREME HOW-TO magazine since 2003 and is also author of the non-fiction book, THE QUICK & EASY HOME DIY MANUAL (Weldon Owen Publishing). He lives just north of Birmingham, Alabama, with his wife, two sons and a daughter. When he isn't chasing kids, writing or remodeling, he plays bass guitar for the punk band SKEPTIC? Find him online at www.pintbottlepress.com.