​SPORM BY MATT HAY - BOOK REVIEW

There’s a group on Facebook called ‘The IAC’ (Indie Author Coalition), the purpose of which is as a promotional fan base for a bunch of independent genre authors to tout their wares and get some feedback from their readers. It’s generally a good idea and seems to work better than each author having to maintain a singular presence with their own group/page or website.

I was invited to join the group a while ago by author and editor Sheila Shedd who is one of the collective, though I hasten to add that I am not one of their stable of authors and actually quit the group last week for personal reasons as really all I did was just hang around on the periphery and mooch as a way of spotting up and coming talent and potentially finding some interesting stuff, which I did. As is the norm with Facebook groups I found posts in my feed from the IAC on a reasonably regular basis, and one such post which appeared a lot is for a novella called ‘Sporm’ by Matt Hay who is one of the original IAC line-up.

The cover reminds me of the DVD cover for Alien 3 and I kept thinking I’d have to give it a shot when I get a little more time to see if it’s a parody of that franchise (it isn’t). To be honest I hadn’t thought of checking out how long a novella it was, so when it finally occurred to me to do that I popped on over to Amazon and looked at the stats. It’s a slim volume at 31 pages, and should take around an hour to read, it also has a stack of 5-star reviews and so I figured I could readily spare an hour of my day for that. At the time of writing this review ‘Sporm’ costs $0.99 on Kindle and so it’s not a lot to fork out for a quick read.

The basic premise is that of the central character ‘Sporm’ a portmanteau of ‘Spider’ and ‘Worm’, which already hints at something a bit yucky but this is only really the tip of a truly revolting iceberg.

Set largely in the ‘Red Light District’ of Amsterdam, because where else would a shag-happy Spiderworm go, Sporm is straight out unashamed trash, it apparently isn’t trying to be anything else as it goes for the gross-outs and vulgarity right from the start. It is unrelenting in delivering a significant yield of WTF moments laced with Matt Hay’s own brand of humour which is in the best tradition of the puerile and sleazy, putting me very much in mind of films such as ‘One Eyed Monster’, ‘Killer Condom’ and anything Troma puts out whilst giving more than a passing nod to the chest-burster from ‘Spaceballs’. Would ‘Sporm’ make a good film? I think it would, it’d be the sort of thing that could become a ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ cult classic as it would be hard to make anything more highbrow out of it and would probably have viewers spitting out their beer in disbelief. As for the novella, well it’s got unusual subject matter, especially as it’s squishy and disgusting with highly graphic sexual content, so if that’s your sort of thing then you’ll be a happy bunny.

As for me, well it’s not what I usually go for as there’s a hell of a lot of pornographic content with smatterings of gore, which to me comes at a cost of lack of proper story and characterisation. However I can see the problem in that it’s realistically not easy to relate a story, partly from the perspective of a sexually depraved ‘Spiderworm’ and yet Matt still manages to give him intelligence and a reasonably fun personality. It left me wondering about so many aspects of the plot that I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being far too strict on myself and really should have just unbuckled my brain and went along for the ride. Looking at it from the critical perspective there’re a few minor editing things wrong with it. I read it on a Kindle Fire and the formatting wasn’t the best, with titles pushed a little to the right. Every time there was something requiring an apostrophe there were gaps before and after. It’s possibly a tech glitch, but one which doesn’t detract from the overall enjoyment of the novella.

The ‘epilogue’ as such is a love-letter to the publishers and perhaps wasn’t the best choice of ending as it came across as a little contrived, but hey, it shows what a nice guy Matt Hay is in that he wanted to thank them. Everyone who works so hard in Indie publishing to help emerging writers could do with a pat on the back at times, am I right?

There’s an absolute option on this for a sequel as it has the potential to even become a mini-series in a ‘further adventures of…’ kind of deal. I’m not in the habit of talking to creators whose work I review prior to writing the review, but I spoke with Matt Hay this morning (partly as a courtesy to inform him of the apostrophe glitch) and he told me a sequel isn’t out of the question, it’s all a matter of finding the time. I hope he does.

As for the Gingernutometer score, well… I’m not going to punish it for the glitches, but I’m also going to be brutally honest in that it’s not the kind of thing I generally go for or would make a habit of as it’s far from subtle and piles on the filth with abandon. I’m not against that if it’s done well and I know there’s a market for this stuff, and Sporm certainly delivers. I didn’t regret reading it and would probably read a sequel if only to see if Matt can actually develop the character further.

So… A three out of five on the Gingernutometer.

​SPORM BY MATT HAY 

Graphic content! Ages 18+ Horror and erotica mixed in a short story.....Sporm, the half-spider / half-worm, is rejected and humiliated by his friends and strikes out on his own in search of the fabled Pink Pleasure Cavern. He soon experiences erotic and horrific adventures as he explores some of the seediest places in Amsterdam, hoping for the ultimate thrill whilst trying to survive one of the most dangerous areas of The Netherlands.

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