AND THEN I WOKE UP BY MALCOLM DEVLIN

18/4/2022

Nothing is what it seems in the aftermath of the strangest of holocausts

A book with the title And Then I Woke Up implies potential connections with dreams, which it both does and does not, but ultimately context is vital. When we wake up most of us only have partial recollection of what we dreamed and if they are nightmares are often left with a residual feeling of unease of what went before. Spence, the main character in this novel has such feelings, he is aware of the troubling circumstances of his previous ‘life’, but his perception and recollection of the genuine events is off-kilter and he feels overwhelming guilt which is a key element of this story. He is trying to start over, but for reasons which become apparent, cannot move on from his past and is not as peace with himself.

Even though And Then I Woke Up was quirky, had an original idea, I did find it rather frustrating, like the dream I just mentioned there were too many unanswered questions and its vagueness tested my patience. Yes, it was ambitious, but I doubt it was as intelligent as it intended to be, being built around false narratives that went nowhere except round in circles. The main story hook was a nice idea which was developed around Spence leaving a rehabilitation centre, however, what does he actually do when he leaves the place except follow a woman around? Absolutely zero. The major current time plot (not the flashbacks) lacked drive, action, substance and although the reader is supposed to question what ‘reality’ is, even though it was a short book, I was beyond caring and found the whole experience underwhelming and rather empty. This was not helped by the fact that Spence was particularly nondescript and since this was a first-person narrative he probably needed more spark to drive the story.

It may well be that this is one of those books which split critical option, as some big genre names have been talking it up, including Stephen Graham Jones, Mira Grant, Alma Katsu, Jeffrey Ford, Nancy Kress and Brian Evenson. However, their comments do not reflect the book I read, so perhaps check out other reviews to see what others say and watch out for the word ‘zombie’. Although this is Malcolm Devlin’s debut novel, he is an established short story writer of note and has featured in Black Static, Interzone, The Shadow Booth and Shadows and Tall Trees. His first collection, You Will Grow Into Them was shortlisted for the British Fantasy and Saboteur Awards in 2017 and his second collection, Unexpected Places to Fall From, Unexpected Places to Land, came out last year.

And Then I Woke Up opens with Spence in Ironside rehabilitation centre where the residents use group therapy to discuss a weird type of apocalypse which resulted in them ending up in the centre. We find out early in the book that Spence is seen as ‘cured’ but that in the previous ‘apocalypse’ was responsible for killing people and carries the photos of some of his victims and as part of his therapy has even tried to track down surviving members of their families to apologise. This very much came across as something akin to the 12-step program of Alcoholics or Narcotics Anonymous with the residents repeatedly talking about their previous sins especially to the new arrivals, in particular Leila who Spence feels a connection with.

What was this apocalypse? Spence worked in a restaurant and whilst washing dishes hears screaming and his friend Macey tells him that some guests have started attacking and biting other visitors. Zombies. But are they? In the present time narrative, we find out that this might have been a disease which affected how reality was perceived, but not everybody was afflicted. So, in reality to escape the restaurant bloodbath Spence and Macey were not killing zombies at all, instead they were just trying to survive. Put this in a wider context, parents realise they have killed their children and husbands realise they have murdered their wives. As a result, rehabilitation centres spring up and many seek redemption in a divided country which still shows scars of the war.

However, nothing is explained 100% and I cannot guarantee that is exactly what happened as the inhabitants of Ironside are not allowed to watch current news and could be being forced a particular version of the truth. Events are built via two narratives, with Spence and Macey in flashback and Leila in the current story, whom he abandons the centre to help her find the crew she used to run and kill with. Hoping for redemption he struggles to separate the truth from the lies all of which was rather confusing. Spence did not do enough to carry And Then I Woke Up, he spent a fair bit of time hanging around these two women and feeling sorry for himself. Ultimately, I did not feel much empathy towards this character and in first-person narratives the success or failure of novels depend on the reader connecting with the main character. Let’s talk zombies, I cried my eyes out at the end of Alden Bell’s The Reapers are the Angels. Why? Because my connection with fifteen-year-old Temple touched my heart. Alternatively, And Then I Woke Up is built around a quirky concept, but fails entirely to give the reader a character to believe in.

If you go into this book expecting a zombie novel you will be undoubtedly disappointed, instead you are presented with one of the ultimate unreliable narrators, as even he did not truly know what went on via the loss of perception on reality. In the end And Then I Woke Up asks us who the monsters are? And there are no easy answers. Perhaps in the world of fake news, with politicians sinking lower and lower as the days go by, and Covid-19 denial continues to persist the novel is making a fair enough point, even if the message is somewhat garbled.

Tony Jones

Further Reading
SOMETHING NASTY BY MALCOLM DEVLIN

And Then I Woke Up
by Malcolm Devlin

In the tradition of Mira Grant and Stephen Graham Jones, Malcolm Devlin’s And Then I Woke Up is a creepy, layered, literary story about false narratives and their ability to divide us.

"A scathing portrait of the world we live in and a running commentary on what’s story, what’s truth, and what’s not."—Stephen Graham Jones

In a world reeling from an unusual plague, monsters lurk in the streets while terrified survivors arm themselves and roam the countryside in packs. Or perhaps something very different is happening. When a disease affects how reality is perceived, it’s hard to be certain of anything…

Spence is one of the “cured” living at the Ironside rehabilitation facility. Haunted by guilt, he refuses to face the changed world until a new inmate challenges him to help her find her old crew. But if he can’t tell the truth from the lies, how will he know if he has earned the redemption he dreams of? How will he know he hasn’t just made things worse?

At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.