OH NO DAVID WATKINS IS STUCK IN A HORROR FRANCHISE

24/8/2022

You wake up and find yourself in a horror franchise, what franchise would you prefer to wake up in and why?

Something lame, like Leprechaun or Chucky. How hard could it be to outrun a toy? I’ve always found the idea behind Chucky stupid. Once you get past the original surprise that a toy is a homicidal maniac, then it’s pretty easy to deal with.

Think what would have happened if it was possessed Lego instead of a doll? That stuff hurts if you step on it anyway – imagine if it had teeth and a bad attitude?

You find yourself as the “Final One” which monster / villain would you most like to go up against ands why do you think you would survive?

Jaws. Just don’t go in the water. Simples.

And which creature would you least like to go up against?

The Cybermen from Doctor Who have always scared the beejesus out of me. It was that whole you can only kill them with gold. I’m from the Welsh valleys and when I was growing up in the seventies and eighties, I always thought ‘where the hell am I going to get gold from?’

Also, the Alien. The whole - it grows inside you - thing, with acid blood. Horrific.

Anything from Event Horizon. That is one terrifying film!

One more, because I’m being greedy, the Cenobites. Just holy shit, no….

You find yourself in Scooby Doo, which character are you, and who would most like to have as the other members of Mystery Inc?

I’d probably be Shaggy, trying to hide but getting into trouble anyway.

CC Adams would have to be Scooby as he’s never too far from food, and it takes him to his happy place.

Tim Lebbon would be Fred as he has the physique…! Maybe CC for this one too. Hmmm.

Kit Power for Velma, because he’s so damn clever and sees things others don’t.

Phil Sloman would be Daphne, just for the legs.

Pinhead pops round for an evening of fun, what are your pains and pleasures?

No clue, I’m too busy running like hell.

The Wishmaster gives you three wishes. What do you choose?

1. You can wish to write in any franchise

Star Wars. Not a very horror answer I know, but I have adored the Star Wars films since I was a kid, watching it all on a big screen when I was about 7. Obviously the prequels dented that enthusiasm, but that whole universe is just outstanding.

I get annoyed with some of the direction they’ve taken with the TV shows – Book Of Boba Fett was fairly pants and I was also disappointed with Obi Wan in the end. People kept saying it was worth sticking with because of episodes 5 and 6. It really wasn’t and highlights the problems with prequels. There is no peril if you know the characters survive and every single character (bar one) in the final episode crops up in later films. It all looked spectacular, but that’s irrelevant if you aren’t made to care. I found it really boring, but appreciate I might be in the minority here: the whole series was a wasted opportunity.

Give me a new story, with previously unseen characters – like the Mandalorian – then you can move a story in a different direction. I’d love to see a horror story set in Star Wars (on screen) or a detective or a love story (don’t give me that prequels were a love story nonsense. There’s no way Padme would have fallen for Anakin).

2. You can wipe one franchise from the minds of everyone

Any of those cheap cash ins that are supposed to be funny, like the Scary Movie franchise. Consistently hitting a low bar for ‘humour’ for its entire run time. Dreadful, insipid and unfunny.

3. You can date your horror crush

Ripley or Laurie Strode from Halloween. Both of those would probably get the seal of approval from my wife.

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David Watkins

David Watkins lives in Devon in the UK with his wife, two sons, dog, cat and two turtles. He is unsure of his place in the pecking order: probably somewhere between the cat and the turtles.

He has currently released four novels and a short story. Each is well rated and reviewed on Amazon and beyond.

His most recent release is The Exeter Incident, from D&T Publishing.

"Great monsters and dynamic characters make this brutal, bloody, brilliant novel an essential read. I'll never see Exeter in the same light again!" - Tim Lebbon, The Last Storm (praise for The Exeter Incident)

"...gut twisting scenes...” 4* Joe X Young, Gingernuts of Horror (The Devil's Inn)
"..a damn entertaining read.." - DLS Reviews (The Devil's Inn)

"Watkins writes with a real flow for tension." - Steve Stred, Kendall Reviews

"Great horror! I couldn't put the book down" 4.5*, Pamela Kinney, Ismellsheep.com (The Original's Return)

Promo link: The Exeter Incident mybook.to/exeter

My author page on Amazon is author.to/DavidWatkins